Craig K

life- an ongoing struggle Dec 9, 2004 No Comments

Is it me or does life like to give everything to you at once? You have to do most (or in some peoples cases all) of your leaning at the very start of your life, just the first 10 years or so. You may think this is rubbish, but start to think about the information and life skills you have. Like being able to tell if someone is forcing a smile, that you take for granted and you will begin to understand my point. When you find love, everything seems to happen at once, all those feelings pour out. The term "midlife crisis" describes a time when many people find that everything is just too much for them. Many people go from feeling fine and well to ill in hospital in a matter of weeks and even days sometimes. Perhaps this is life's ways of kicking you up the arse every now and then. Maybe it is a little test, to "make or break you". This is what the army does, push you and see if they can "break you". Many will then say that you have proved yourself if they do not "break you". In reality, I think they break everyone. Soldiers who have lived through wars, emerging at the end fine and apparently unscathed years down the line quite often end up with bad dreams, hearing voices, replaying moments over and over and over in their minds. It occurs to me that these people must just be covering up what they feel, pulling the wool over other's eyes. But don't we do this all the time? Even under oath in court, people try to pull the wool over others eyes, and that's under oath! There is no oath to others in life...who knows how many people do it, just omit certain details, neglect minor facts, white lies...everyone's done. If this is the case, how can we ever know what others are thinking? We can't is the simple truth of it, we are just acting. I suppose this is a way of defining love, someone so special that you tell them everything, and they know you are telling them everything.

24/7 Dec 9, 2004 No Comments

There is phrase which seems to have been everywhere in the last few years. "24/7"...many people say that we are entering a 24/7 world. I hate to burst their bubble, but we are in one, and come to think of it, have been since time started (which is quite a while ago). I assume what they actually mean is that we are entering a world where everything is available all the time. Now this would all sound great if it wasn't for the short but true fact that I do not often feel the urge to go buy petrol or a KitKat™ in the middle of the night. Come to think of it, I don't think I have ever wanted to buy something in the middle of the night. I does however appear that petrol station owners have found the solution to this...don't stay open for 24/7. It seems simple, and is guaranteed to cut costs, but it does ruin the adverts. So to combat this advertising dilemma, these companies have done what any respectable company does when advertising, they've put it in the small print. As far as they are concerned, there is nothing in the phrase 24/7 that implies 24 hours a day, 7 days a week...

Band aid Dec 9, 2004 No Comments

I have just watched a program about band-aid 20. You know, 20 years ago there was an event called band-aid and it raised vast sums for the millions starving in Ethiopia, and now they are having a kind of "revival" with mainly new singers etc. Well, the program was great, the cause was well worth it, the idea was brilliant and their motivation was astounding, yet I still see "comedians" having a laugh at people in Africa. WHY? What's the point? Do they deserve it. NO. It's people in richer countries that have quite often caused their predicament, either by lack of action, lack of helpful action or by negative action. There was only one thing it that program that made me smile, and it was Bob Geldof complaining that after 20 years they still couldn't get his name right on his badge.

A load of food for thought Dec 8, 2004 No Comments

Humour. It's an odd thing really. What makes some people find something funny, and other, not only do they not find it funny, they don't even get it? How can you define humour. Is it just something that makes you laugh? What is laughing anyway, is it just you body telling you that you are beyond help? I always heard it was I sign of stress, so then why do we do it when we are not stressed as well. Perhaps we are stressed all the time and we just don't notice it much? People tell me I think too much. In fact, actually, I think it's only Craig Ackland, so really, its not "people tell me I think too much" it's "a person tells me I think too much". Maybe I do, that would explain the last couple of pages, but can you ever think too much? Isn't the human race just naturally curious. This is why when there is a car accident or something like that, even when there is no disruption to the road, and it is clear, there is always a queue. It's because people have slowed down to have look. We just seem to want to take a good look at other misfortune. Perhaps this is so that in the future, we may avoid such an incident. Maybe this has come from our early beginnings when we were just looking to go forth, multiply, and survive. But then we are back to the humour. Isn't there the sick joke, or satanical humour? (Well, I know there is, it was a rhetorical question). If so, it can't just be that we are looking to ensure we avoid such an incident, maybe it's because we actually enjoy seeing others suffer. This might also explain the nation's fascination with the soap opera. The chance to see your favourite characters every week fall in to some kind of mortal danger, you get to see hundreds upon hundreds of them kick the bucket in ever more fanciful ways. To quickly return to my earlier gripe with the spell checker, it now also doesn't like the word "satanical", I'm sure this is a word. I have just this second looked in my Collins dictionary (and no, they don't sponsor me! (I wish!)) And according to that, it is a word. So I hereby launch my complaint to Microsoft that such an important word to the English language has not bee included in their dictionary.
This has just reminded me of a story that somewhat concerned me recently. The English Navy now has a Satanist aboard one of its submarines. This in itself is bad enough, but a judge has ruled allowing him to carry out satanic rituals whilst serving. This is in the same way that members of the Royal Navy are allowed to have time to pray etc. Now in all for equality, but what the hell (poor joke) is a Satanist doing aboard a British Navy submarine. Was the judge not aware of the problems this could lead too? "well, you said I could carry out my rituals, well, its part of my religion to sacrifice the odd person now and then, you know, just to keep Satan happy an all" What has the world come to?
As I way typing that last passage I became more and more frustrated with that good old corner stone of modern society, Microsoft Word™. When I typed the word "Satan" without a capital "s" at the start, It put that little red line under it indicating it was spelt wrong. However when I changed the "s" to a capital, then away went my friend the red line, indicating it was now spelt correctly. Now unless I'm very much mistaken, I haven't changed the spelling (please do correct me if I'm wrong). If anything, the green line should have been used indication a problem with the grammar, but no, good old Microsoft common sense strikes again! This later happened with another word, "British". Now you would have thought that I package like Word would be able to rectify this simple mistake for me, it's not much to ask, to capitalise a letter is it. Well, it appears this is dependant upon the word. If you type the word Microsoft, then suddenly, before your very eyes, the capitalisation of the first letter, funny that!

The mind Dec 2, 2004 No Comments

Isn't it quite amazing what comes out of the brain when you let it slip in to neutral, when you allow it just that little bit of freedom it so yearns for. It continuously tries to make sense of a world this is so famously without logic or reason. I suppose it's like a mathematician tying to devise an equation for love. It simply can't be done, but that doesn't stop them trying. The brain seems to look for a reason for everything. An apple fell on my head...hmm what is this that caused that, I know, it's a magical force that we can't see. Well now it's obvious that it's gravity, a force that is know, accepted and measured, but back in the day when an apple first crossed Newton's path, this was an alien concept. What caused his brain to devise a later proven magical force? Why was it that apple that did it? Why not another? He must of seen so many things fall from the sky, the table, a tree, but what was it about his mind that made that one click on something. Why is it I'm so curious? I hate to leave you with unanswered questions but when I started typing I had no idea that I was going to end up on the subject of gravity, so perhaps it would be interesting to know what led my mind to it?

The wonder of the spell checker Dec 2, 2004 No Comments

As I write (type) this, it occurs to me that the spell checker, which to my parents disgust I rely upon heavily, continues to complain at my use of the abbreviation "i'm". This strikes me as very weird. As far as I can tell it is just two words, "i" and "am", thus by saying, "I'm" I am in fact saying "I am". For example, "I am disgusted with the way you constructed that sentence" and "I'm disgusted with the way you constructed that sentence". Both as far as I can see mean the same thing, and both make sense (to me at least) but not to my dear friend the spell checker who continues to harris me greatly on the matter.

Please remove your feet from under my chair Jul 22, 2004 No Comments

well, your asking for a definition my loss but not yet found friend....it is simple, i have no idea what it means because, quite simply, we didn't get round to it. There I was, sitting with my feet underneath the other Craig's chair, and alas we stumbled upon a name, albeit an odd and somewhat misguided name, but it is a Name nonetheless. And it is one that we shall be proud to bear under the great banner which is the World Wide Web. Now as I am at a loss as to what to say, I bid you farewell, and wish you bon voyage on the long road ahead (why not).

TTFN