Quote of the day
"A lady must have decorum at all times, except if she's in Asda and wants to skip a bit" - Cathy L
"I just want to ruffle Dr. Who's hair" - Cathy L
"You look like a dolphin" - Beth. "Oh, I was going for a seal" - Jonathan L
"Mine at home is in a bigger box" - Nick B
"Nick's hands are so soft" - Jonathan L
"I'm more than just hair " - Nick B
"That's a day well-spent: Magnums, duck porn and David Tennant" - Cathy, Louise and Vicki
"No Vicki, the ducks aren't sneezing" - Louise H
"Jonathan doesn't strike me as the coolest guy ever" - Beth, 18 September 2005.
"Jonathan, because you are a pirate, can you get that pot down?" - Beth L
"let's kill him!" - Jessica Roberto
"I saw Pao!" - Leslie W
"Euh!" - Leslie W
"I smell like pomegranets; wanna be my friend?" - Beth L
"Dang it, I can't see. Let's tax the Americans!" - Beth L
"Is this green thing your soap? Cuz I'm using it" - Leslie W
"But not with Jonathan.... Gooble! Gooble! Gooble!" - Leslie W
"It's cow juice and borwnie poo" - Jessica Roberto
"Fireworks! Fireworks! Fireworks!" - Leslie W
"He's making another film cuz he's a turdmonkey! Hey! Hey! Hey! He's making another film cuz he's a turdmonkey!" - Leslie W
"Doris is dead!" - Leslie W
"Actually, Leslie, that's Morgan Freeman" - Sean
"He's a NUTBAG!" - Sean/ Brad Pitt
"George Woman could be an Eliot!" - Jonathan L
"Since U Been Sean!" - Leslie W
"Be-e-e-e-e-thuh!" - Leslie W
"I don't want to talk about it" - Leslie W
"Baby, we shoudl do this every Wednesday!" - Jessica Roberto
"Don't prod my fat" - Jonathan L
"I do TRY not to be naked on Facebook..." - Dan S
"hip deep in pants, which to be honest is the correct depth" - Dan S
"Quick, jump out of the car and see if it's invisible" - Beth B, "You do that Beth" - Beverly L
"Finishing a degree shouldn't be like falling off a cliff" - Beth's Writing Contexts Teacher
"i need to get knocked up" - Jonathan L
"if i had sideburns i wouldn't have them" - Jonathan L
"wipe off my finger u yet slobbery fool" - Beth L
"its easier to get married than 2 get a bank account in this country.." - Beth L
"you might not be a dog, but you still like your tummy rubbed" - Craig K
"I say all off in one, none of this nit-picking" - Demelza A
"It floats automatically. unless it sinks." - Jonathan L
""Can we live in a houseboat?" " - Jonathan L
"monkey bracket out foo on a new line" - Dan S
"You know when you really have to pee and then you go and you're like, "aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh."? That's how my feet feel right now" - Benna and Jeth
"How do you say "yay" in spanish? AAAAAIIIIIIII!" - Beth and Jenna
"oops I sat on my goldfish" - Jenna
"What if the earth stopped moving? What would the moon do?" - Beth L
"Ahhhh... my ears are tingling. Try it!" - Beth L
"I am trying to eat my pizza and you keep talking about floating pee" - Beth L
""How does Henry VIII pee in battle?" "He has a willycup just like astronauts"" - Benna and Jeth
"Hang on, I am distributing the egg." - Jenna
"I feel like one half of a schizophrenic" - Craig K
"can I play zoomabean? Its a bean that goes fast" - Jonathan L
""You can pitch any book you want" Teacher. "Any book?" Classmate. "Any book." Teacher. "Can we pitch the Bible?" Classmate. "If you know which publisher will take it." Teacher" - Beth's Writing Contexts Class
"I may just be soaking your hair in lemonade for no reason" - Beth L
"It's like doing tech support for a hamster on crack, with a dartboard and a printout of the world wide web " - Dan S
"It's not sunny. It's night time" - Jonathan L
"Do you think he wanted a tip?" - Beth L
"a man who can lose with grace is a gentleman indeed" - Beth "inside I'm killing everyone" - Jonathan L
"At the next full moon... turn right" - Dan S
"I'm not violent, I just like hitting people" - Nick B
"It's all about inflatable sharks" - Paddy H
"I like carnival workers and choir boys" - Nicola L
"Of course it's long. It's the Bible, Darling" - Jonathan G (Pastor, Sanctuary)
"President's day... it's like bank holiday, only more American" - Rachel B
"I am a flipping machine" - Louise "At least you didn't say tossing machine!" - Anna W
"How can you have a crush on Christopher Robin?" - Beth L
"I don't imagine Victoria Beckham wearing pants" - Vicki B
"It suddenly occurred to me that the drawer was empty so my eyes alighted on the fertile tree of underpants growing in Craig's room. Ah my life is made so much simpler by the little known knickerfruit of Bolivia." - Dan S
"It's not one of my lifelong ambitions to become a duck" - Louise H
"I would like to have a kitchen party and everyone has to dress like a blender" - Beth L
"I was using my ass because I was too busy with my face. You know, because the two are interchangeable on bad days..." - Dan S
"Everyone needs metaphorical balls" - Louise H "I don't" - Tim S
"If you can't stick a pen in a duck what is the world coming to?" - Cathy L
"Nuns aren't fat!" - Beth B"The ones in my head are" - Jonathan L
"What if you had knickers with road signs on them? "Men at work" "strong winds may exist" "hard hats must be worn in this area" "STOP" "yeild to pedestrians"" - Anonymous
"You can't go wrong with handbags. Except for that huge green one." - Beth L
"So make a stupid people corner for them to go in" - Rachel B
"I get painted regularly" - Demelza A
"What's that thing where you forget things?" - Nicola C
"If I got locked in here overnight I woudl have to wrap myself in toilet paper" - Cathy L
"Galoshes!" - Beth L
"Welly style!" - Demelza A
"The only place I ever lose weight is my fingers" - Nicola C
"Jonathan, if you come back to mine, I'll show you my socks" - Vicki B
"i was laying in bed listening 2 linkin park and scratching my face with my foot" - Jonathan L
"Danger is near! water is near! Demelza is near!" - Cathy L
""He looks like he has ears" - Anna ... "I DO have ears!" - Jonathan L
"I don't want anyone to see my breasts!" - Jonathan L
"I don't even read your diary anymore" - Jonathan L
"Why are you asking me about optical illusions?" - Nicola C
"stop bullying me for being retarded" - Liam H
"I'm having second thoughts, Cathy, how do you feel about becoming a lesbian" - Beth L
"It's fun to go through cactuses but they slow you down" - Beth L
"Given where is was located I assumed it was for the monkey" - Craig K
"You can't glomp a sprite bottle; there has to be love" - Cathy L
"Don't touch me! I'm fluffed and ready to go!!" - Cathy L
"Do you want this jar of bolognaise? I found it in a bush" - Alan to everyone
"Get your head off our fridge!" - Cathy L
"Was that you falling over or trying to dance?" - Craig K
"Stop fondling the strawberries" - Craig K
"I just want you to leave the cheesecake alone! How have you screwed up a cheesecake this much?" - Craig K
"Shakespeare would have thought it was very erotic" - Beth L
"I'm too busy sawing a strawberry" - Jonathan L
"Do you not approve of kissing slippers?" - Nicola C
"Mummy, can we go to the zoo and feed the lion some ham?" - Nicola C
"Oh look it's a post. No wait... I's Jonathan" - Nicola C
"So... imagine a ball and you cut it in half. Then you have half a ball" - Nicola C
"Footsteps... in the walk of shame!" - Beth L
"What I'm talking about is little turtles" - Jonathan L
"Most women are domesticated" - Jonathan L
"I'm going to grow me a performing stretched donkey" - Cathy L
"Get some spider bait.... Like what? I don't know, some sausages or something?" - Craig K
"If Tim comes he will be the vegetarian option" - Beth L
"If they really want to they can get it wet themselves." - Jonathan L
"Haha! I bet you never thought you would be flipped by your own sausages!" - Craig K
"I'm quite toned" - Jonathan L
"Mummy, I've had a good idea. If we throw out all the cars then we can ride horses. Then we won't kill ourselves." - A little boy in Wales
"I'm losing weight from my sumo-wrestling days" - Jonathan L
"I knew it wouldn't hit you" - Jonathan L
"I am devoting my life to cleaning his [Jonathan's] sock fluff" - Beth L
"My belly is so full of bacon and brie, bacon and brie, bacon and brie" - Beth L
"That's the first time the Bible has been mistaken for sausages" - Craig K
"You were in my way whilst I was trying to squirt the monkey!" - Craig K
"Oh, that's where the pizza goes." - Beverly L