Quote of the day

"Hey, what's wrong with my sausages?" - Jonathan L

"Daddy's having an identity crisis. He thinks he's a sheep" - Jonathan L

"Let's live on love. No, that is a silly idea. Let's live on money" - Jonathan L

"It's a moustache that has to die" - Jonathan L

"As soon as I learned you were a cheesecake I knew how to escape!" - Jonathan L

"Oh dear, I'm going to be one wife short of a bundle" - Jonathan L

"Babies aren't good conversation" - Beth L "Well neither am I" - Jonathan L

"I could have quipped back there but I forgot" - Jonathan L

"Coding is quite difficult when you have a head." - Jonathan L

"But who will be there to father funk and fruitcake?" - Jonathan L

"Live a little granny, you're 186!" - Jonathan L

"Hey honey will you come in the kitchen and jiggle my chips?" - Jonathan L

"I don't want to eat a sausage, because it's nearly bedtime" - Jonathan L

"My bellybutton secrets fluff." - Jonathan L

"That's some extreme frictionizing. I'm scared!" - Jonathan L

"That's the way the cookie dough explodes out of my bellybutton!" - Jonathan L

"Gaseus Maximus Andromedus, that's me" - Jonathan L

"I like walking cheese" - Jonathan L

"Get the bags together baby, we;re going to sainsbury's!!" - jonathan l

"I'll take care of him; I'll throw him in the pond. Which we don't have. Yet." - Jonathan L

"I love you as much as a train with 29 boxcars full of bugatti veyrons and Lewis Hamilton with his formula 1 car on the end, driven by Clive" - Jonathan L

"I need to recharge my headpod" Beth L "You need to recharge your brain" - Jonathan L

"Craig and his army of undead babies" - Jonathan L

"Bread doesn't exist" - Jonathan L

"hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle, I jumped over the moon" beth " I'm not that surprised" - Jonathan L

"My website is better than facebook cuz i don't make all these changes that get rid of your privacy. With my website there never was any privacy." - Jonathan L

"I have a happy wife, who has a happy job, in a happy place, where Jesus lives.... Is it a mental hospital?" - Jonathan L

"Ok, but before you go let me eyebrow you. Is this some kind of fetish?" - Jonathan L

"I've been discarded like a cheap chicken" - Jonathan L

"I wish I could be frosty... the snowman, the biggest goof in town" - Jonathan L

"you're going the wrong way!" - beth "Not even superheros get st right all the time" - Jonathan L

"I should get married more often" - Jonathan L

"Pirate attack! It's the only way men can have babies" - Jonathan L

"I'd love to be able to say I'm listening to you" - Jonathan L

"Is that going to bethe name of our first child? Andy Goldsparkle?" - Jonathan L

"Chubby want a cracker? Tough, you're not having one; it's what made you chubby" - Jonathan L

"How will we cut the grass? We have no mower" - Beth B "napalm" - Jonathan L

"watch out or i'll get old and shify o your butt" - Jonathan L

"That was in my hardcore days" - Jonathan L

"I don't have one of those. That's a s[pecial attachment that costs 49.95" - Jonathan L

"Look, Craig and Demelza are having fun." - Beth. "No, he's just hypnotising her" - Jonathan L

"I live in perpetual fear of potatoes" - Jonathan L

"and i mostly managed to catch beth" - Jonathan L

"wow you're so flat!" - Jonathan L

"I can't even remember what we're talking about" - Jonathan L

"Paddy, will you go out with Louise so that she can become a lesbian? " - Jonathan L

"So address it to "Uncle Whatsit and His Lady"" - Jonathan L

"The fat nuns told me. They are knowledgeable" - Jonathan L

"You look like a dolphin" - Beth. "Oh, I was going for a seal" - Jonathan L

"Nick's hands are so soft" - Jonathan L

"George Woman could be an Eliot!" - Jonathan L

"Don't prod my fat" - Jonathan L

"i need to get knocked up" - Jonathan L

"if i had sideburns i wouldn't have them" - Jonathan L

"It floats automatically. unless it sinks." - Jonathan L

""Can we live in a houseboat?" " - Jonathan L

"can I play zoomabean? Its a bean that goes fast" - Jonathan L

"It's not sunny. It's night time" - Jonathan L

"a man who can lose with grace is a gentleman indeed" - Beth "inside I'm killing everyone" - Jonathan L

"Nuns aren't fat!" - Beth B"The ones in my head are" - Jonathan L

"i was laying in bed listening 2 linkin park and scratching my face with my foot" - Jonathan L

""He looks like he has ears" - Anna ... "I DO have ears!" - Jonathan L

"I don't want anyone to see my breasts!" - Jonathan L

"I don't even read your diary anymore" - Jonathan L

"I'm too busy sawing a strawberry" - Jonathan L

"What I'm talking about is little turtles" - Jonathan L

"Most women are domesticated" - Jonathan L

"If they really want to they can get it wet themselves." - Jonathan L

"I'm quite toned" - Jonathan L

"I'm losing weight from my sumo-wrestling days" - Jonathan L

"I knew it wouldn't hit you" - Jonathan L