The web gives us 3 classics today:

http://nymag.com/health/bestdoctors/2007/33163/index5.html

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever seen in a hospital?
Dr. Baby:Once I was sitting in the emergency room and a guy came in and Ihappened to be schmoozing with one of the nurses at the front desk and he says, “I need help,” and there was this buzzing sound and wecouldn’t figure out what it was until he went in and we realized he’d gotten a vibrator stuck up his ass. If you ever put anything someplacewhere it shouldn’t go, always make sure to have a handle. Put a string on it, for God’s sake, so you can pull it out!