One of the guys at work is an atheist and he was talking about the idea of God being perfect. He then posed the question “If God is perfect, and we are made in his image, why did he put the balls on the outside?” I think this is possibly the best question posed by an atheist… ever
On another note, why do animal rights protestors complain when they see a fur coat, but not a leather one? Surely if they are to have any credibility they should care about cows just as much as the cute creatures.
End of the year meme (from
Real entry to follow
Whatever the temperature is outside, standing around in it for 40mins in a thin coat and shirt is never going to be a good thing. I have only just begun to thaw on the train really. How I came to stand in these arse chillingly cold conditions is a matter at the forefront of my mind at present.
As is my custom on Fridays I was planning in getting into work about an hour before I need to. This works two fold. It means I get in in time to cover the early shift and it means I can get home normally in time to help with cubs, although today, just earlier.
Due to the time of year the trains are pretty fucked. They run a crap (reduced) service on the days between Christmas and new year. This is also the time they take to fix some of the bigger things they broke during the year. This has left me with long waits, slow, packed trains complete with more replacement buses than I want to shake a stick at.
Last night I looked at the train times online, all looked well. It seemed they had finished with the buses and I could get to work in a reasonable time. So this morning I left the house soon after 6:20 with the intention of getting the 6:27. I had to run rather faster than I wanted to. As I got there I read the board. My train was cancelled and the next train was at 7:05. I stood and weighed up the options for a moment. Given how cold it was this was a short moment.
I started walking home. I got to my front door, put my key in the lock, turned… Hmm, why isn’t it turning…. Wiggled the key a bit… Still no luck. The I realised there was a key in the other side of the lock. It was far too early to go knocking on the door. I was pissed off. Not least because as I walked home I was thinking at least I could grab the mince pie I had forgotten too…
I’m fucked off. i really dont give a shit about anything. i need sleep and i need time and i get neither. im being argumentative, aggravated and although some of its my fault i feel like it all is. im sure im being unjustly being made to feel like it all is. to anyone who says “get a life”. first tell me what the fuck a life is.
My morning began today at 6am. A silly time if ever I heard of one… Very little happened between the time of 6am and 6:25. At the new and improved silly time I said the words “oh that’s not good” as I re-awoke to realise I only had 5mins to leave the house to get my train. I am now sitting on said train with a somewhat “rushed” look about me and limited food in my stomach. As I have no food to eat and I dare not risk the train trolley “food” I shall proceed to explain the in’s and out’s of my week.
This week so far has been fairly ordinary, enjoyable, but nonetheless still fairly ordinary. There has been some badminton, some fixing of an old ladies internet connection and an element of tidying my room (which although it’s better than it was, it still requires a considerable amount of time).
The final piece in the puzzle this week is a pantomime for a local drama group I’m involved in. Tonight and half of tomorrow I will spend doing lights for a very cheesy rendition of Aladdin. Like many of the lighting jobs I do it will be a rush job. It will make the most of some pretty crap bits of kit and by some small miracle they may even thank me for my efforts (I cross my fingers now just in case).
As I’m watching Christmas approach I have a mixture of feelings. I do enjoy Christmas, but I’m almost looking forward to after Christmas just as much. Simply because as yet I don’t have too much to do. I’m sure there will be a shopping trip to Bluewater shopping centre and I know I have at least one birthday present to locate. I even know I have another pantomime coming up in a little over a month, but even with that I feel like I haven’t much going on. It will be nice to have a bit of a break, maybe even sleep late for once… Although as I sit here on the train that possibility seems quite remote. I know for starters that tomorrow morning will be spent making my room look considerably more presentable than it is now…
In other somewhat unrelated new I burnt my finger while working on my lighting rig last night at the dress rehearsal. This is now the second time I have scared a finger by melting the skin. Its only a small melt, but enough to make a nice little line.
I think its time to have a bit of a news-worthy items update. I mentioned a few days ago that I didn’t really live at home, I just slept there. Yesterday I realised that when I next have a evening in (which will be in about a week at the earliest) I will have been out each evening for over 3 weeks straight!
Saturday was spent shopping in Brighton with Jen. This was a lot of fun but it did involve the absolute madness of the busy shops. We had to queue in one of them for about 15 mins just to pay. As per usual whenever I goto Brighton the travelling is a real pain. We had to get a replacement bus because they were not running the trains between ThreeBridges and Brighton. That actually worked quite well on the way down, it wasn’t quite as handy on the way back. Just as were nearing Crawley on the way back the bus went up a bit of a hill, stalled and then wouldn’t start. So we sat around on the top floor for a while while another bus was sent. So we all pilled from one to the other. It was a bit late for tea, but not late enough for me to care.
Sunday was church in the morning followed by more time at church. You see we were decorating the youthclub room (in what can only be described as lilac (i didn’t pick)). So we cleared out the room first, then had lunch, then afterwards moved onto painting and suchlike. One rather fun thing was we going to do siloets of people in odd posses on one wall. To do this what we did was set-up some paper on the floor, have people lie-down and then they were drawn round to make their template. I did one in what I would like to call the “splat” pose. I shall put some photos of this whole even in my gallery soon. One I left there at about 6:30pm I went home for tea and then went back out with Jen just afterwards. No idea what we did but I’m sure it was fun…
Monday was not such a great day because it was Granddads funeral. I will leave that at that.
Yesterday was spent working, and then playing badminton with Jen (who is really rather good. Especially since she hasn’t played for several years). Worth also mentioning that she did 70 sit-ups in one go (after about half and hours badminton) which is also really good. I don’t want to talk about the rest of that evening….
So now that leaves me up-to-date with one last honourable mention. Yesterday I finally got an umbrella which is pretty essential in this country when commuting. The cool thing about mine is not only does the button on it make it pop open, it also closes it by itself! Trust me, its cool. For all the doubters or curious, ask me next time you see me. You will understand….
Last night I was given a rather difficult task. On the face of it appeared to be something could be done in 30 seconds, but in reality it took me all evening. To give myself a little credit I wasn’t working on it all evening, not even close, but it did dominate my mind.
I was asked to write a comment card for my granddads funeral this Monday. Because of how it as being done it is being sent off this morning.
I sat and looked at it for quite a while trying to sum-up what he meant to me on the space of a postcard. I realised I could do this. It actually brought me to tears and I was fighting them of for the rest of the evening. Then I considered leaving it blank or just signing my name. I realised people would probably think I was just being rude/insulting by effectively saying he didn’t mean anything to me. I wondered about simply explaining that I didn’t know what to put on the card because I could not find the words. I then realised I was turning it into a complicated writing exercise and put it down on my desk and left it.
I didn’t pick it up until just before I crawled into bed. I still didn’t know what to put and silly as it may sound I’m sure my hand was shaking a little.
I ended up just writing the first thing that came to mind at that moment. I don’t even remember what I put. I don’t want to remember what I put either. I put the card downstairs on the kitchen worktop without reading a single word of it.
I’m sure whatever I wrote wasn’t right, but at the end of the day I think all that matters is I’m there to mark respect for a man I’m finding it hard without.
Does a journal post have to tell you what I’ve been doing? I have noticed that almost every post in my friends list from peoples personal journals is normally either a musing from their daily life with some small explanation or a full-on detailed post with everything they have been doing over the past couple of weeks since they last tended to their journals.
I note that a much higher proportion of my entries don’t fit into either of those main categories. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t pretend to be anything as glamorous as a “trend setter” etc but it does strike me that this is different. So are we generally more interested in what’s going on in peoples lives or do we care more what they think? Well the general populous’ lust for celebrity gossip etc seems to suggest the former to me. This to me seems wrong, like we are focusing on things that matter less. Having said that, is what they are actually upto of greater significance to us than what they think? I wonder if really we are just brainwashed by “intelligence society” to think that we should care more what other think. After all, which is more likely to influence you more, someone’s thoughts or their actions? As much as I think I should be saying thoughts I doubt this is the case.
On the subject of othe people and their actions etc. Have you ever just stared at a crowd of people and then picked out a few people and watched them intently? Who needs the internet… I have enough entertainment right here on the station platform…
I lead a strange life at the moment. I work in London during the day spending hours sitting in front of a screen tearing systems apart, working out what’s wrong with them and then fixing it. Its a mentally shattering job and if often leaves me not feeling up to much when I get home.
To add to the mix I have a fairly strict routine of things I do after work in terms of clubs and places where I help. These include 2 badminton clubs (one of which I help run) as well as both cub and explorer scouts groups that I go to. Then as one final thing I also have a few skills that seem in demand such as being able to fix computers and my interest in stage lighting and sound. These 3 abilities seem to be doing their best to fill up a good proportion of the time I have left.
I think then that all in all we can say that I’m quite busy. I have come to consider home as a place where I sleep, not where I live if that gives you any idea of how much time I spend there…
This does give me a few reasons why I haven’t made many journal entries of late. I can assure you I am still here (somewhere (on the train now as it happens)).
I was going to post some long complicated entry about a recent argument I had, but given my chat with Jen the other day I think it can wait, it requires more thought than I can muster now to turn it into something I want the world to be able to read…
For now I will simple give you two links:
The first is photos from my first ever thanksgiving which I was invited to by Jonners girlfriend Beth which was all very nice.
http://www.craigk.org/pictures/index.php?group=24
The other link is to a bit of code I was really happy I virtually got working last night… Note it doesn’t look quite right under Internet Explorer 6 (I don’t know about 7).
http://test.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/ajax/drop_down/
I think that will do for now. I will try to update this a bit more often from now on providing my poor brain feels able.
I keep thinking I should be feeling really odd at the moment. I keep thinking I shouldn’t just be working as normal and life should not just be carrying on. It is though, and it’s not really bothering me…
Tonight my granddad died in the nursing home he has been living in for about the past 3-4 weeks. We all knew this was coming. To be fair it’s been coming for sometime and it was guessed he wouldn’t make it much longer. He was a smoker for most of his life and combined with a bad back this caused him huge amounts of trouble breathing. He had been in and out of hospital quite a number of times
Ok, I take some of that back, I think it just hadn’t hit me yet. I haven’t cried like this in quite some time, but I would rather finish this and get it out of so at least I can sleep.
I was just thinking about the following and it’s just triggered me and now I can’t stop:
The last time I saw him was about 2 weeks ago down in the home. I went down with my brothers and my dad to visit him and to show him the holiday photos he hadn’t seen. Alastair (my brother) is rather good at his art and he had always got along well on this subject with my granddad and they could both talk about painting and such for ages. Well Alastair brought down an oil painting which he has done for part of his art coursework and granddad thought it was a present for him. He was a bit upset when he was told he couldn’t keep it down there. We told him he could have it when it was marked. I knew full well he wasn’t going to live long enough to see it, and he didn’t.
And with that I think I just need to sleep.
Ok, first things first, while its on my mind I have just a single link for you. behind said link is a video that requires 3 things, watching, sound and a computer…2nd two are a given and I would urge you to do the first.
http://www.zappinternet.com/?video=fodCyoDmiV
Moving on. I’m beginning to wonder where I actually live. Now until very recently I would have had no trouble answering this question whatsoever. I live at home with my parents and my brothers. Simple isn’t it…. well, you would have thought so.
I have come to the conclusion I live somewhere between work, a train and a car. These seem to be the three places I spend a vast amount of my time in. Now to be fair I can add my room/bed to that list, but it is not top, and its pushing 2nd at times. I lead a life that takes me to work at some un-godly hour, has me come back at another un-godly hour and sees me leave again to go do something other than sleep.
For example, I normal Friday will see me leave the house soon after 6am and have me get back around 11pm. That of course is when everything is going well. Last Thursday saw me get up at 6am, get home at 8:15pm, leave the house again at about 8:20pm and then back at 11pm.
Now normally I can live with this rather sleepy existence given the weekends to recover. This weekend just gone was not a time for recovery at all. It involved me spending from very early till very late at my church with Thomas, Jonners and a selection of explorer scouts. You see, there was a fund raising concert which involved lots of music generally played on instruments. These instruments (nice as they were) did not really work together without something to make some of them louder. This the point where myself (and my pre-arranged team) step in and build a 3500Watt sound system (and lighting system).
To say what we achieved was impressive would just not be doing it justice. We had a fully working system using 16channels fed from a computer, a variety of microphones attached to varying instruments and a few guitars thrown in for fun (oh, and a few singers)… This system then fed back to 4 main speakers, 4 monitor speakers (with appropriate feeds relative to their position) and a computer for recording.
Myself, Thomas and Joe (one of the explorers helping) monitored levels for both live and recording for all 16 channels. That mean we were working on (including the gain) 5 levels for each of the 16 channels. Now by my calculations that’s 80 levels, which a very big number of changed maybe 30-40 times each during the concert. Not bad if you consider all this was for a band that had not fully played together until that days afternoon and using a sound system we had only put together in the morning! I was happy at the end, but interestingly also pretty dead. This may have something to do with it was me who masterminded the system and who’s head blame would rest on had it gone anything but right.
Given all of the many reasons and ways in which we could have failed I am aware of only one mistake from the 1hour40 concert. Even that was so small that I expect I’m the only one who remembers it.
Right, so job done payment in hand (large chocolate bar (currently being consumed)) we managed to leave about 11:30 I think, which wasn’t too bad at all.
What however was bad was tat I was up early the next morning to pick up the kit (all 2 cars worth) from the church at 8:30am and then dropped it off at 10. Then drive back home, pick brothers up, go to church, leave church, go to grandparents for lunch, drive back for play rehearsal, drive back to grandparents for tea, drive home again, sleep, back up at 7am for work in London at 8:45am, home at 6:15pm, tea, out again to go meet up with Jen.
And it was at this point things got interesting. Well, perhaps interesting is the wrong word, odd. We went for a drive. It was one of those drives based on nothing more than where I point the car at each junction. Suffice to say I didn’t know where I was going. That may well have explained why we ended up at a mail distribution centre (very much in it…), later a school car park and my firm favourite, a small car park in a wood. We didn’t stay long in the latter. May had something to do with as we pulled up in the car and parked we looked out the window and saw only one other car (it was about 10pm). Nothing new there then, a car in a car park late in the evening. The thing that was different here was that as we looked over at the other car we realised there were two fairly pink fleshy people inside it moving about a fair bit. The car also was pretty steamed up… We decided we best not ruin their moment much more and drove off….
I’m begining to become more in-tune with the phrase “burning the candle at both ends”. Until fairly recently I think it would be safe to say I burnt it late into the night. The mornings however were a different matter and something I left well alone. If you consider that I quite often go to bed at past 1:30 – 2am I think leaving the morning candle well alone seems wise. Of course just because its wise doesn’t guarantee I’m doing it… I’m currently sitting on the train on my way to work before the sun has come up. For those who think this isn’t that bad let me remind you that the clocks have changed. I have reached the point where almost all my daylight comes to me via my office window. Its kinda fun for the first few weeks… Its after that that it becomes a little more wearing.
Take yesterday, I left the house at just before 6:30am, I was at my desk at about 7:45 in the city, I sneaked out of work just as the sun was going down (because I was metting someone and I wanted out a bit early) although I still didn’t get home until 8:15. I was then back out the house at about 8:20 and got back about in again at 10:30. Then all I managed to do was some txting and a bit of work on the computer.
since the clocks have changed its not dark anymore when I get to london so it puts an end to all those images of the sun rise at tower bridge. It does however mean I see some closer to home like this one…
Oh I love working for an American company… I got an email today from a “Resty Mendoza”….my first comment “that sounds like a real workaholics name…” I think my political correctness has a way to go….
Oh joy, just heard an announcement on the train that someone got mashed and its causing delays…if they hadn’t done it for me I would comfortably shoot people who mess up my day like that….
London is a strange place at the best of times. Those times seem to come rather frequently in my eyes. For example, the other day as I walked over the bridge there were 3 men wearing suits and fesses handing out leaflets and next to them on the road a donkey and cart complete with city worker on the back reading the paper. Turns out this was an advert for Egyptian holiday company. How about the time a few days ago when I saw getting out of a taxi at London bridge 3 dwarfs wearing traditional Austrian dress (laderhosens etc). Then there was the time when just as I walked over the bridge in the morning I saw about 30 people walking down the middle of it dressed in suits and bowler hats like the guy from the apple painting. They were in one long line doing a Mexican wave by lifting their arms complete with brief cases up in the air.
Of course those are just the adverts; I’ve lost track of how many films/music videos/news reports I must be in by now. I don’t think I have walked over the bridge without seeing at least one load of filming a week.
Right, well enough of that me thinks, interesting as that all is, I try to have a bit a life. Time for one of those roundups of what I’ve been doing:
The other weekend the explorers did a competition hike where I went as a support car, so I spent most of the time driving round in the dark (after a quick visit to Thomas’).
Saw Jen on Saturday and Thomas (again) on Sunday.
Went to see the film “the devil wears prada” which was actually very good and really worth seeing, in fact, I would be more than happy to see again. Doubt I will have time though as there are so many other films I want to see. Looks like that will wait for DVD.
Went to jonners for last weekend for a visit. On the Saturday I went shopping with him and got a nice new coat and trainers.
Oh, other recent news (which I should have really noticed). I now have a new phone to replace my 5 year old work horse. As a credit to it, it still works fine, its just it does do all that I want now. My new phone allows me to collect me emails and go online (and in making this entry from it on the train to work).