Dec
30
2006

36622

One of the guys at work is an atheist and he was talking about the idea of God being perfect. He then posed the question “If God is perfect, and we are made in his image, why did he put the balls on the outside?” I think this is possibly the best question posed by an atheist… ever

On another note, why do animal rights protestors complain when they see a fur coat, but not a leather one? Surely if they are to have any credibility they should care about cows just as much as the cute creatures.

Dec
18
2006

35856

I think all computer users who can get onto the internet should be made to pass a maturity test before they are allowed to use their caps-lock key.

Dec
14
2006

Bubbles

http://www.craigk.org/pictures/p/283/

From the other weekend…. Yes, it’s late, but I just noticed it in my phone. Someone had a bit of fun with some bubbles I would say….

Jul
22
2006

Lines of co(d|k)e

Commuters are great for advertisers. There are millions of them, they are predictable and they have money. This makes them a prime target to get a new product rolling. For this reason I have been attacked everyday with some form of free version of a new product since I started work. The funny thing is I get of the train at London Bridge station and from there I have a 5min walk at most. During this time I get presented without fail some for of food or drink, 2 newspapers, 3-4 leaflets and normally some form of card holder.

Yesterday (well, Thursday) there were lots of people standing outside the station doors handing out loads and loads of mini cans of the new product “Coke Zero”. This is just a sugar free version of coke with supposedly the same taste. o be fair it isn’t bad, but you can still tell. Plus, its loaded up with aspartame. The really funny thing though was that along the main commuter route that I walk (over London Bridge) there were absolutely thousands of these little cans, empty and on the side. Obviously there are no bins in the city of London thanks to the IRA. There was maybe 200 on each post-box, pillar, box, van, railing…well, pretty much any static object. I wish I had a photo, I really do.

Ok, so that was funny enough, but just to prove they watch what’s going on, today (Friday) there were more people with little drink cans. This time however it was not Coke, this time it was Pepsi showing of their new product, “Pepsi One” which is basically the same as idea (i.e. no sugar). Yet again thousands of cans lines London Bridge for the second time that week.

I bet the city council was annoyed…..

Ok, time to move onto work stuff.

It seems so far I spend a lot of my time working on applications that don’t work. I find this quite cool because I enjoy working out what’s wrong and taking things to bits. The one I’m working on is a particular challenge. First it is a VB6 application designed to run on NT4 in a manor which emulates a service. It has been in use for years now and apart from one bug fix in early 2004 it seems fine.

My task was to take it apart, work it does (so reverse engineer it) and then rewrite it in C# as a real service. Now there are a few problems. The first is that I don’t read VB6 so a day was lost to me learning a fair bit of that. I have now been pulling apart this app for about 3 days. Its one of those things that the more you uncover the more you realise you have left to uncover.

It has now been decided that I’m going to take this back all the way to initial spec, then technical spec, then design and then finally code it. This is not the simple re-code it started as off. You see, the code was written by someone who really was no good, its just it seemed to work so they left it (“it ain’t broke so don’t fix it”….). As a measure of how bad parts of it are I know how bad they are and its not my language!

I have been talking bits over with the guys at work as I find them. I spent an hour on a guy in the states who looks after the server and I pulled a log file from it too. Monday will be spent researching some very important little quirks of SQL server 2000. Basically, the app works, but they are so lucky it does. The error checking is so bad that it may as well not be there in many cases. To prove this point (and how bad the app is) I opened the log file. It was a 118MB text file (txt). It takes a while to open in word and when it did it was over 28,000pages. It has been generating 2 errors every 20seconds for the last 6months!

One of the developers did point out that at least I can really screw my version up and still be an improvement!

Jul
18
2006

Tips for shouting at children

Although this is written with children in mind, given the right attitude it can be used on any age group and any levels of the social hierarchy.

Keep instructions short and simple:

The purpose of shouting is to get stress the importance of the instruction being given. Any instruction that requires adherence also requires transparency. For example, “Go away” does not set a boundary for how far “away” is. A clearer instruction would be “Go to the hall”.

Although short instructions are best, avoid single word instructions, especial single word shouts. For example, “Sit” may be met with laughter from many children between about 6 and 10. If a single word instruction is to be used, it is important to follow it up promptly with some further instruction or threat. For example “Sit, or you shall now be allowed to play out this evening”.

The shout must come from low down:

I deep voice can carry a very long way which is excellent for controlling vast numbers of children over a large area. When I say “deep” I do mean this in moderation. Too deep and the shout will loose its ability to project any great distance. This level comes around the tone sergeant major style “bark”. Equality, a voice that is too high will loose authority almost instantly.

Obviously for many people the depth of the shout will need to be forced, this can have effects on how long you can last before you start to loose your voice to a comical croak. Its important to take into account that at the end of an event more shouting is normally required than at the start. Therefore it is important to “save yourself”.

Maintain eye contact:

When shouting (especially at a single child) you must maintain eye contact. This has several benefits. First it ensures you know they are listening. Even young children have an ability to cut out shouting. Next it forces on them the seriousness of their predicament by making it more “personal” to them. The final effect is it scares the shit out of them. This is always good for impressing on them why they should not do whatever they have done again.

Be swift to reprimand:

If a child has done something worthy of being shouted at such as run across a road without looking then they should be shouted at immediately, irrelevant of onlookers etc. The speed at which they are dealt with relates to how they then misbehave in the future. If you wait a considerable length of time it works in effect as a dog lead. They discover they can get away with a lot before something happens. This is then serves s an incentive for them to push that mark. If they are dealt with immediately then in future they understand that there is no point “pushing the boundaries” because they don’t move, they are the same each time.

Those of you who know me will know why this makes sense coming from me.

– Craig (Holder of 3 CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) forms…)

Mar
13
2006

Meme

Ok, I’m not in the mood for telling you much of my life story.

I am however going to tell you that I have spent a few days seeing jonners and while visiting him we came up with the idea to make a quiz. Well, it’s more like a meme with LJ’s and other blogs etc in mind (when I say “we”, it was more like “me”, my mind works far better than his at 2am).

As is often the custom, you are mean’t to do it, paste the code it tells you to and then others see it and do the same etc (man I love those 3 letters).

This being our first go at a meme it would be:

a) Really cool if you did it and passed it round etc
b) Great if you had any ideas/comments/suggestions on it as a whole you could tell me as i can change it and want to make it better.

I even did it! and hence forth, below are my results:

Test Results

I have a 28% chance of being pregnant, the doctor also told me:
“You are turning into a vampire. Over the coming weeks you may notice a growth on the gum next to your one of your molars, gain an allergy for garlic and develop a fetish for sun cream.”

Click here to find out if you are pregnant

Please have a go!

Also, any bugs you see, do tell, I often code those.

Oh, one last things, because one of the people I asked to test it could not read the black text on white background, I added another function. You can actually set the colours in hex in the URL, for example:

http://quiz.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/0306/index.php?b=000000&t=00ff00

This is a nice green and black thing (also, this will not carry through to the answers page because i never finished it)

Happy clicking

Feb
08
2006

Misdirection

I have always hated writing postcards. Many a holiday have I sat down with 5 or 6 to write in a go. The problem is that after the first one you can become bored of writing about what you have done, mentioning all the places your friend has never heard of etc. So about three of four years ago, I started a new trend amongst my friends. All the post card I have ever sent (to those who would understand) I have not mentioned my holiday at all since then. For example, a few years ago when I was in France I spend a whole postcard complaining about the French postal system and how the postcard would never get back before I did.

As I said, this was a trend I was starting so other people did it back to me. I have been clearing up some of the crap in my room and have just found one of the ones i was sent from Germany last year.

It goes as follows:

Craig,

Rather than telling what i’ve been doing and where i thought you might be more interested to know what is on my desk at the moment:

approx 2/3 loaf of bread
1 X roll of selotape
1 X penknife
TV remote (not working)
1 X soap dish (without soap)
1 set of keys
1 pack of tissues
2 X pad of paper
1 X beermat (skinback brau)
3 X flannel
1 X pack of blue-tack
1 X elasticband (red)
1 X Viz comic (feb ’05)
1 X fly swat gun
1 X Chinese takeaway menu
1 X banana (slightly injured)
approx. 200 toast crumbs

Hope you are well,

George

Jan
24
2006

I swear this is going to have to stop soon

Ok, I am ruining my journal with all these crappy memes, but I have been told by that I must post this because of #9. I have done so only because if I don’t, she would eat me.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Pleaseremove!

  1. Pleaseremove can turn his stomach inside out.
  2. Pleaseremove is the male seed of a flower blossom which has been gathered and treated by bees!
  3. Some birds use pleaseremove to orientate themselves during migration.
  4. Ostriches stick their heads in pleaseremove not to hide but to look for water.
  5. Medieval knights put the skin of pleaseremove on their sword handles to improve the grip!
  6. Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that pleaseremove is near.
  7. US gold coins used to say ‘In pleaseremove we trust’!
  8. Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by pleaseremove!
  9. The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr Pleaseremove Head!
  10. Pleaseremove is often used in place of milk in food photography, because milk goes soggy more quickly than pleaseremove.
I am interested in
– do tell me about

Jan
23
2006

What did you do with your spare time then?

Ok, I have had an interesting weekend, as such, I have filled in a meme and am letting you read that instead.
(Seen on ‘s but then taken from ‘s)

Take this list of things one might or might not have ever done in one’s life, bold the ones you’ve done, and add five to the bottom, three of which you’ve done.

01. …bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. …swum with wild dolphins
03. …climbed a mountain
04. …taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. …seen the Pyramids at night
06. …held a tarantula
07. …taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. …said ‘I love you’ and meant it – There are a lot of different meanings for the word love.
09. …hugged a tree

10. …done a striptease
11. …done a bungee or parachute jump
12. …visited Paris
13. …watched a lightning storm at sea
14. …cleaned behind the fridge
15. …stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise.
16. …asked a question you’ve always been too embarrassed to ask.

17. …seen the Northern Lights
18. …gone to a huge sports game – football, rugby, baseball, American football, etc
19. …created your own masterpiece
20. …grown and eaten your own vegetables.
21. …touched an iceberg
22. …had an office relationship
23. …slept under the stars
24. …compromised – all the sodding time, its just not right
25. …changed a baby’s nappy/diaper
26. …taken a ride in a hot air balloon
27. …watched a meteor shower
28. …gotten drunk on champagne
29. …taken a luxury holiday
30. …given more than you can afford to charity
31. …looked up at the night sky through a telescope

32. …had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
33. …had a food fight
34. …bet on a winning horse
35. …taken a sick day when you’re not ill
36. …gotten a pet
37. …asked a stranger out
38. …had a snowball fight
39. …photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
40. …screamed as loudly as you possibly can
41. …held a lamb

42. …enacted a favorite fantasy
43. …taken a midnight skinny dip
44. …heard the words ‘I love you’
45. …flown on Concorde
46. …taken an ice cold bath
47. …had a meaningful conversation with a beggar.
48. …seen a total eclipse
49. …ridden a roller coaster
50. …hit a home run
51. …fit three weeks miraculously into three days
52. …danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

53. …adopted an accent for an entire day
54. …visited the birthplace of your ancestors
55. …given a grand romance with costumes and everything
56. …made up a screenname to stalk someone.
57. …gone shopping for no reason.
58. …actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment.

59. …just been held
60. …had an adventure where nothing goes as planned.
61. …kissed someone you truly wanted to kiss

62. …gone clubbing and thought to yourself “I could out-dance them if i wanted to”
63. …called your relatives by their relationship
64. …had two hard drives for your computer
65. …cuddled
66. …visited all 50 states
67. …loved your job
68. …taken care of someone who was shit faced
69. …had enough money to be truly satisfied
70. …had amazing friends
71. …danced with a stranger in a foreign country
72. …swum during a formal
73. …stolen a sign
74. …backpacked in Europe
75. …taken a road-trip
76. …gone rock climbing

77. …had your nose pierced
78. …had a midnight walk on the beach
79. …gone sky diving
80. …visited Ireland
81. …seen what you wanted and done all it took to seize it.
82. …fallen in love, then fallen harder and faster from heartbreak.
83. …in a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had lunch/dinner with them

84. …visited and/or toured Japan.
85. …benchpressed your own weight.
86. …stolen from your parents
87. …alphabetized your records
88. …done your own taxes
89. …pretended to be a superhero
90. …sung karaoke
91. …made someone cry for no good reason
92. …lounged around in bed all day.

93. …posed nude in front of a room full of strangers.
94. …dressed sexy for no reason.
95. …gotten it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye
96. …kissed in the rain
97. …played in the mud
98. …played in the rain

99. …gone to a drive-in theater
100. …done something you should regret, but don’t regret it…
101. …visited the Great Wall of China
102. …fallen in love with a job that has nothing to do with the degree/career you’re pursuing
103. …discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog/website has discovered it.
104. …dropped Windows in favor of something better.
105. …started a business.
106. …fallen in love and not had your heart broken.
107. …toured ancient sites around the Mediterranean
108. …taken karate.
109. …swordfought for the honor of a woman.
110. …played D&D for more than 6 hours straight.
111. …gotten married
112. …been in a movie.
113. …LARPed
114. …loved someone you shouldn’t have.
115. …kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy.
116. …gotten divorced
117. …had sex at the office/workplace
118. …surprised yourself with a talent you didn’t know you had
119. …been to Macchu Picchu
120. …gone without food for 5 days
121. …never left the continental United States
122. …made cookies from scratch.
123. …won first prize in a costume contest.
124. …ridden a gondola in Venice.
125. …gotten a tattoo
126. …gotten another tattoo the next day because you didn’t feel balanced
127. …found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
128. …rafted the Snake River
129. …blazed it up at Burning Man
130. …gotten flowers for no reason.
131. …masturbated in a public place.
132. …gotten so drunk you don’t remember anything.
133. …been addicted to some form of illegal drug.
134. …traveled the world.
135. …performed onstage with a famous symphony orchestra
136. …been to Las Vegas
137. …met Madonna
138. …recorded music
139. …eaten Shark
140. …had a one night stand
141. …gone to Thailand
142. …had the courage to speak your mind
143. …seen Robert Smith and Siouxsie live
144. …bought a house
145. …earned a degree
146. …broken your neck
147. …been in a combat zone
148. …buried your father
149. …earned a *living* through your creativity
150. …visited the remaining continents on your list
151. …had your pubic hair waxed off
152. …been on a cruise ship
153. …spoken more than one language fluently (at least, fluently enough for a conversation…)
154. …worn see-through clothes in public
155. …bounced a check
156. …performed in Rocky Horror
157. …moved over 1000 miles by yourself
158. …been to art school
159. …read – and understood – your credit report
160. …raised children.
161. …recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
162. …followed your favorite band/singer on tour
163. …created and named your own constellation of stars
164. …bucked stigma or trends to follow your heart
165. …taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
166. …found out something significant that your ancestors did.
167. …called or written your Congressman
168. …picked up and moved to another city to just start over
169. …more than once?
170. …run the Golden Gate Bridge
171. …sung loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
172. …had an abortion (or your female partner did)
173. …had plastic surgery
174. …survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.
175. …written articles for a large publication
176. …lost over 100 pounds
177. …held someone while they were having a flashback
178. …flown an airplane
179. …petted a stingray
180. …broken someone’s heart.
181. …helped an animal give birth
182. …been fired or laid off from a job you loved
183. …won money on a T.V. game show
184. …broken a bone
185. …killed a human being
186. …had a threesome (or moresome)
187. …ridden a motorcycle.
188. …driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
189. …had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
190. …fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
191. …eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
192. …ridden a horse
193. …had major surgery
194. …had sex on a moving train.
195. …had a snake as a pet.
196. …hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
197. …learned to play a musical instrument
198. …eaten racoon meat
199. …lied about your age
200. …traveled with a carnival
201. …been a member of the US armed forces
202. …been to Africa
203. …fired a gun at a living thing
204. …eaten food from your own garden
205. …chopped firewood
206. …changed a tire for a stranger
207. …given a birthday kiss to a stranger, just because they asked
208. …gotten more than one speeding ticket on the same day
209. …ingested a drug you found in a public restroom without being certain what it was
210. …experienced weightlessness
211. …made your own wine/beer/other alcoholic beverage
212. …had to put a pet “to sleep”
213. …signed a contract while in a swimming pool
214. …performed in some capacity (anchor, DJ, presenter) on commercial radio.
215. …had your music played on a nationally-syndicated radio program
216. …had your own TV show
217. …repaired some piece of hi-tech equipment yourself
218. …performed at Carnegie Hall
219. …eaten a sea urchin
220. …pretended to speak only an invented language in a public situation
221. …stood on the top of the shell of the Hollywood Bowl
222. …driven a car
223. …been to Canada
224. …never been to the United States
225. …rescued a baby wild bird and tried to raise it – it was a long time ago, and it died very quickly
226. …operated a circular saw for the purpose of building something out of wood
227. …made an effort to cheer up a clerk in a store or a waitress when their other customers had been complete jerks
228. …written a book and had it published
229. …gone on a blind date.
230. …gone to a strip club.
231. …squished a slug (accidentally or on purpose, doesn’t matter) under your bare feet.
232. …taken active steps to protect service people from abusive customers.
233. …successfully ran a long term LARP.
234. …stood up for your beliefs or ethics, at the cost of friends.
235. …never voted outside of your political party.
236. …explored religions to try to figure out what the ‘truth’ for you was.
237. …been the “go between” for two people who are not speaking.
238. …smoked a clove cigarette.
239. …gone for a walk in the rain.
240. …been to Alaska.
241. …gone scuba diving.
242. …Eaten things in your fridge you shouldn’t have and had no consequences
243. …Stayed up way past bedtime to answer one of these long quiz thingys
244. …snorted sugar
245. …won a game of Othello
246. …played video games so long your thumb joints creaked and your eyes burned like sodium in water
247. …swum with sharks
248. …had a near-death experience
249. …gone on an exchange program
250. …drawn blood during sex
251. …had the chicken pox
252. …done something that made your head hurt, but made you feel good after you finished it
253. …opened your big mouth once too often
254. …laid on your back in the grass and stared at the sky
255. …climbed a tree as an adult

256. …been clinically dead before
257. …sold a creative work of yours for money
258. …turned down a once in a lifetime chance in the name of love
259. …accidentally set fire to a building
260. …stiffed someone out of a substantial amount of money
261. …use a multi-monitor setup
262. …have got fed up with supposedly ‘better’ systems and gone back to Windows
263. …overslept and missed a lecture/class/meeting
264. … ^ and it was something important
265. … ^ and you lost out as a result
266. …set something on your body on fire (hair, clothes etc.)
267. …stayed on the internet for 10 hours straight or more

268. …accidentally run over/killed your own pet
269. …volunteered gladly for a job, knowing you’d get no money for it
270. …participated in a protest
271….skied off a sheer drop
272….stood very still and shouted “boo” when people came near you
273….walked until you found you were lost
274….made yourself dizzy because you could

275….eaten a fly

Jan
10
2006

Stuff

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
1) If took over the world, who would suffer? me
2) Do you think is hot? yup
3) What is ‘s favorite color? lime green
4) If had a superpower, what would it be? look through walls (everyone wants that)
5) Is dead sexy? yeah, why not
6) Do and go to the same school? nope
7) Is in a relationship? i expect so
8) What would think of ? he has man breasts
9) Does do drugs? i expect so
10) ‘s hair color? brown
11) Would and look good together? doubt it
13) If took over the world, who would be happy? her
13) What planet should be from? earth, but he is from mars
14) Where was born? america
15) What is ‘s shoe size? hmm, maybe a 4 or 5
16) How long would dating last? 30 seconds
17) Is athletic? not a chance
18) What do you disagree with about? the colour “lime green”
19) If were hanging off a cliff, what would do? push
20) What languages does speak? vb
21) What exotic animal would like as a pet? a blow fish
22) Does drink? yup
23) Would you make out with ? nah, can’t
24) Is a high school student? no
25) Thoughts on ? she doesnt have any
26) Do you have a crush on ? dont think so
27) How would conquer the world? hell no
28) Does go to your school? nope
29) Does have a dog? only a brother
30) Is your best friend? nope
31) What rank would have in a giant robot army? nano bot
32) Do you have ‘s screenname? nope
33) What word best describes ? auburn

Dec
08
2005

Stupid woman

Ok, I was just watching the BBC news. They were running this story about a mother who has abandoned her newborn twins out in the cold.They were hours old when they were found, but are now ok, but motherless.

They ran all sorts of emotive shots of sleeping babies etc and then ran a short interview with some woman (I think they mentioned she was part of some women’s union, not sure, wasn’t paying attention).

Anyway, during this interview she said the mother should come straight in because they think she may have an infection. Fair enough, but its what she said next that confused me. She went on to say “and we really want to reunite her with her twins”.

Now stop me if I’m wrong, but if you are a mother who has abandoned her two babies in near freezing temperatures and are wavering over the prospect of coming into hospital to find out about this infection is the thought of getting the little buggers back really going to spur you on. You don’t think so either…hmm, perhaps I’m not nuts after all.

Dec
06
2005

Evil route

And now the time has come for me to introduce to a band you may not have heard of before. Well, I hadn’t heard of them before about a week ago. Perhaps I’m not introducing them to you at all, perhaps you have seen what I want to show you, perhaps this is yet another waste of my time, perhaps…..hmm, ok, so there are limited things I can say.

Ok, so perhaps it doesn’t hurt, in fact, there was no reason to brace yourself at all, but its not like anyone did. Heh, what would the world be coming to if people actually listen to me….mad I tell you, mad.

Anyway, to the matter in hand. The band is called Interpol and the first song of theirs I came across of theirs was called “evil”.

Now the reason I love the above video is because it combines a really good song with the worlds coolest puppet. I like it because I was never quite sure if I did or not to start with.

More of their stuff can be found here.

And on with the rest of the days news:

Went over to someone’s house yesterday evening on the premise that they were having trouble with their ADSL router. They used to have a USB one, but they wanted wireless, so had got this little (when I say little, it was far bigger than needed) Belkin box. Now all was reassembly straight forward and after a few mins of looking in the manual an IP and password were located. Connection details go in….and we wait and wait and wait and wait….and still the silly thing didn’t connect. Then just as I was about to reboot the bugger, it connected. It took so long…longer than I have ever seen one take. Now I don’t know if this was down to the ISP or the bugger, but I didn’t care, they were online.

Now, on with the security. There was a laptop going at the time as well, so it was simple to test the wireless. So first things first, I changed the SSID. Ok, laptop still connects, fine. Next thing to go was the “Unsecured” bit. I had the owner put in a nice little key for the WPA-PSK (tkip). And now the laptop decides it doesn’t want to connect. I go through all the settings that could possibly stop it connecting, all it fine. Hmm, fine then, time to add a different layer of security. I go back into the router via the desktop (which is using a LAN port on the back) and set to work on the MAC filtering. So I pop the laptop in the list and reboot the router (well, I tell a lie, it rebooted, without asking me). When it comes back up, I can’t get into it. Nor can the laptop, but that couldn’t before. So it transpires that the MAC filtering also applies to the 4 LAN ports on the back of the device as well as the wireless. Oh joy of joys, I had locked myself out.

Now call me stupid, but why does the MAC filtering need to apply to the LAN ports. It’s not like someone can plug in without you noticing. Now do bear in mind this was home kit, not enterprise. I was so pissed off as it then required a reset and a re-configure.

Guess I should get on with some work now. ho hum

Oct
26
2005

Fly away home

I’m too sleepy for the proper entry this LJ so desperately needs, so the following IM conversation shall have to suffice:

george: the shop over the road has 400g bars of swiss chocolate for 99p
me: buy them out…NOW
george: i might see how many i can eat before im sick
george: as a scientific experiment of course
me: lol
me: yeah, thats my type of science
george: it goes well with carlsberg
me: *takes note*
george: im getting a bit of a vicous chocolate-carlsberg-chocolate-carlsberg-chocolate-carlsberg-chocolate-carlsberg cycle going on here
me: and the problem….
george: ive drunk all my beer and the other cans are all the way over in the fridge
me: ah
me: yes, that could be problematic
george: i mean its about 2 metres as the crow flies
me: but your not a crow
me: which again, could cause problems
george: well its about 3 metres as george staggers

Sep
20
2005

Red eye

Ah the wonders of photoshop. I am all very new to this great art, but already I’m enjoying it. I was asked a short while ago by a friend to see what I could come up with in terms of modifications to this image. I was told it was for a band (gridlock’s) front cover and that it had to be “cool”. Hmm, well, lets see what I can do with this beastie then…and I set to work. 20mins later, the following images were made:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

well, that was fun.

Aug
29
2005

This is a carefuly planned post

I say it’s carefully planned because it is most certainly not random. Where ever I go in the internet I am always seeing the word random.
For example, on my regular forum (www.golivewire.com) I regularly see topics starting off by saying something like “whats your favourite number?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WOW IM SO RANDOM” NO YOU’RE FUCKING NOT! ARGH. You are a 15 year old who thinks they are cool on the internet. Or the other one that really bugs me is the personal site (something that should really be culled) that starts of with some cheesy intro saying “hi, welcome to my new site. Its not really finished yet, its just full of loads of random stuff, hope you like it, sign my guestbook!!!!!!!!!!”. What is it with you people? Its not random, its just stuff that you thought was either funny or interesting, that is all. I did a Google fight to see quite how bad the damage to the beloved internet was….its worse than I could have possible imagined….

Just look what happened.

I would now like to see a £10 charge every time the word random is used on a website when whatever it is referring to is not truly random. All funds collected should go to OpenOffice as the new beta looks rather cool.