Apr
29
2005

Oh so true and you know it

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Source: http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

Apr
25
2005

its the simple things in life…..

You know you’re living in 2005 when…

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You go home after a long day at work; you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial “9” to get an outside line.

8. You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

10. Your boss doesn’t have the ability to do your job.

11 You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in
the groceries.

12. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

13. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

14. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

15You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

16 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

17 Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

18 You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

19. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list

Apr
20
2005

nerd!


I am nerdier than 68% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

thanks to Thomas for this one.

Mar
24
2005

think about it

If all red, boiled lobsters are dead, and all dead, boiled lobsters are red, does it follow that all red, dead lobsters are boiled?

Mar
19
2005

take the next left…

today…well, yesterday now, i did another pointless thing. On my way back from badminton i decided to take a different route home, in fact, the route i took, took more than twice as long, but i really enjoyed it. This had me thinking…as most things do, a car is all about freedom. now i know this has been said before the world over, but i guess i found this interesting because it want until that moment that i truly understood.

this taking an odd route home has been going on a while now, and all seems to have come from myself and Naomi (who is first mentioned here). we have been lift sharing as we now both drive and discovered we live quite close. she is rather random, and i think most people agree i am, either odd, random, or both, so we make a rather odd pair in the car. so when we were behind someone from badminton in the car who was going the same way, we decided (she suggested, i was driving) to go a different way at the traffic lights just to confuse them. then, going down the road we were now on, we were talking about all the different ways to get home from where we now were, and she just mentioned the left turn i could take…and suddenly…i turned left (scared her a bit)…then the mp3 player stopped (random crash (of it, not the car)), so i pulled over to fix it…then off we went. Then we came a round-a-bout…after a slightly strange route, and decided to go to the village next door to our town, and so we went there, and went to the house of the person who we had followed in the first place…they weren’t there, so we went off round the bypass and home….it was a mini adventure. it is nice just to do something random once in a while…just to keep things interesting

Mar
10
2005

i like the first thing in this – tis quite true

The No-Hassle Day Planner for the Clinically Insane by MilesToGo13
Username
This morning, you should… check to see how the guests you keep in the basement are doing, and perhaps refill their water bowl.
Then, after lunch… leap on random pedestrians and demand that your need for piggy back rides be sated, lest you kill again.
Dinner will consist of… a random tourist you happened to run down with your car.
Afterwards, you set off into the evening to… have a drink at your local coffee shop, where you take great joy in unplugging people’s laptops at random and giggling at their misery.
At the height of your madness, you will call boggyb
And the two of you will proceed to… have an intense shouting match that the police will be called to over which chipmunk was Chip, and which one was Dale.
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Mar
08
2005

hmm, well, i cant think of a subject for this….

well today has been a fairly pointless day….

woke up…way too early
went in to work (im a primary schools IT tech on one of my college days off)
discovered there was no point to me being at work as the guy i work with was off sick
went home
sat in front of the computer
noticed i felt crap (head ache and sore throat)
still sitting in front of the computer
ate food
did some boring, pointless stuff
went out to beavers (where im one of the helpers/leaders (this is much harder than it sounds))
got home
ate food
waited till dad got back with the car
drove off to fix a friends computer
came back
landed in front of the computer
…..and now im here.

wasn’t that fun.

On another note, the product referred to here has found its way back into our fridge, and as far as im concerned…it can bloodywell stay there.

Sainsbury’s scamorza cheese and sun dried tomato tortelloni

if you see this product…smite it.

Feb
12
2005

3664

well, why not….


Are you Addicted to the Internet?

67%

Hardcore Junkie (61% – 80%)
While you do get a bit of sleep every night and sometimes leave the house, you spend as much time as you can online. You usually have a browser, chat clients, server consoles, and your email on auto check open at all times. Phone? What’s that? You plan your social events by contacting your friends online. Just be careful you don’t get a repetitive wrist injury…



The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!


Jan
18
2005

because i have to

This was taken from boggyb

Reply to this post and…

1. I will tell you what song reminds me of you.
2. I will tell you what celebrity/public/fictional person you remind me of, either in personality or physical features.
3. I will give you one word that I associate with you when I think of you.
4. I will tell you what colors I associate with you.

After you’re done, steal this for your journal.

p.s. i dont know anyone, so am not expecting any replies

Dec
09
2004

Band aid

I have just watched a program about band-aid 20. You know, 20 years ago there was an event called band-aid and it raised vast sums for the millions starving in Ethiopia, and now they are having a kind of “revival” with mainly new singers etc. Well, the program was great, the cause was well worth it, the idea was brilliant and their motivation was astounding, yet I still see “comedians” having a laugh at people in Africa. WHY? What’s the point? Do they deserve it. NO. It’s people in richer countries that have quite often caused their predicament, either by lack of action, lack of helpful action or by negative action. There was only one thing it that program that made me smile, and it was Bob Geldof complaining that after 20 years they still couldn’t get his name right on his badge.

Dec
08
2004

A load of food for thought

Humour. It’s an odd thing really. What makes some people find something funny, and other, not only do they not find it funny, they don’t even get it? How can you define humour. Is it just something that makes you laugh? What is laughing anyway, is it just you body telling you that you are beyond help? I always heard it was I sign of stress, so then why do we do it when we are not stressed as well. Perhaps we are stressed all the time and we just don’t notice it much? People tell me I think too much. In fact, actually, I think it’s only Craig Ackland, so really, its not “people tell me I think too much” it’s “a person tells me I think too much”. Maybe I do, that would explain the last couple of pages, but can you ever think too much? Isn’t the human race just naturally curious. This is why when there is a car accident or something like that, even when there is no disruption to the road, and it is clear, there is always a queue. It’s because people have slowed down to have look. We just seem to want to take a good look at other misfortune. Perhaps this is so that in the future, we may avoid such an incident. Maybe this has come from our early beginnings when we were just looking to go forth, multiply, and survive. But then we are back to the humour. Isn’t there the sick joke, or satanical humour? (Well, I know there is, it was a rhetorical question). If so, it can’t just be that we are looking to ensure we avoid such an incident, maybe it’s because we actually enjoy seeing others suffer. This might also explain the nation’s fascination with the soap opera. The chance to see your favourite characters every week fall in to some kind of mortal danger, you get to see hundreds upon hundreds of them kick the bucket in ever more fanciful ways. To quickly return to my earlier gripe with the spell checker, it now also doesn’t like the word “satanical”, I’m sure this is a word. I have just this second looked in my Collins dictionary (and no, they don’t sponsor me! (I wish!)) And according to that, it is a word. So I hereby launch my complaint to Microsoft that such an important word to the English language has not bee included in their dictionary.
This has just reminded me of a story that somewhat concerned me recently. The English Navy now has a Satanist aboard one of its submarines. This in itself is bad enough, but a judge has ruled allowing him to carry out satanic rituals whilst serving. This is in the same way that members of the Royal Navy are allowed to have time to pray etc. Now in all for equality, but what the hell (poor joke) is a Satanist doing aboard a British Navy submarine. Was the judge not aware of the problems this could lead too? “well, you said I could carry out my rituals, well, its part of my religion to sacrifice the odd person now and then, you know, just to keep Satan happy an all” What has the world come to?
As I way typing that last passage I became more and more frustrated with that good old corner stone of modern society, Microsoft Word™. When I typed the word “Satan” without a capital “s” at the start, It put that little red line under it indicating it was spelt wrong. However when I changed the “s” to a capital, then away went my friend the red line, indicating it was now spelt correctly. Now unless I’m very much mistaken, I haven’t changed the spelling (please do correct me if I’m wrong). If anything, the green line should have been used indication a problem with the grammar, but no, good old Microsoft common sense strikes again! This later happened with another word, “British”. Now you would have thought that I package like Word would be able to rectify this simple mistake for me, it’s not much to ask, to capitalise a letter is it. Well, it appears this is dependant upon the word. If you type the word Microsoft, then suddenly, before your very eyes, the capitalisation of the first letter, funny that!

Jul
22
2004

Please remove your feet from under my chair

well, your asking for a definition my loss but not yet found friend….it is simple, i have no idea what it means because, quite simply, we didn’t get round to it. There I was, sitting with my feet underneath the other Craig’s chair, and alas we stumbled upon a name, albeit an odd and somewhat misguided name, but it is a Name nonetheless. And it is one that we shall be proud to bear under the great banner which is the World Wide Web. Now as I am at a loss as to what to say, I bid you farewell, and wish you bon voyage on the long road ahead (why not).

TTFN