Feb
15
2005

bloody idiots – should all be shot

Right…this is a reply to a person known as Doubble Dutch on this forum here.
It is a reference to this post….the one at the top of the page

By reading your post, it is quite easy to tell that you are an American. Not only do you talk crap, but you complain about something you use. Have you noticed that so far (14/02/2005) you have not a single person siding with you! I love seeing those who think they are so smart fall flat on there arses. And what an arse you have to behold…it is quite astonishing quite how much excrement protrudes from within it. The English language is the most widely spoken language in the world by quite a way, and is soon to become the language spoken by the most number of people (second only to Chinese and this is debatable as there are thousands of different dialects in Chinese, many of which are so different, they are virtually unrecognisable). If you were to take in to account people first and second languages then you would soon discover that it is more than just popular…it is considered the language of the world. Now I agree that some of this is down to the English empire of the Victorian age, but a language cant just become this universal without being quite good. Its is also considered the most widely descriptive language in the world. Now, to those who use the example of Eskimos to counter me…please bear in mind that they may well have 24 different words for snow, but, that is just one thing, the rest of the language is very bland (and before you ask, I have done my research, so I know). The wonderful thing about this language is that it allows such great description. For example…. Stairs are inside, steps are outside, except when there are several, when they are then called steps. A single step, is called a step, not a stair, even when it is inside. You can of course have steps inside as well, but these are again normally when there are a few, and normally between rooms, not between floors.

This is just an example of how great it can be, if used correctly. When used correctly, it leaves nothing to interpretation, so, if used properly, it is not possible to misunderstand someone, so it takes away ambiguity, which makes it the best language in the world, as the point of language is to communicate a point or idea.
Anyway, to the next point in hand….you said “Classical Russian poetry outsells its Americian (you typoed the name of your own county! What a prick) equivalent over 40 times”. Anyway, America doesn’t have a equivalent to Classical Russian poetry, America is far to young to be even close…..as has been pointed out so many times before, America has no history, let alone any good linguists.

Next….” Written Arabic has passed unchanged to the entire middle east since the writing of the Koran, even today it is a travesty to soil it with forgein words or the common tounge”. I love the way this person proves what a prick they are with there very own words. The reason it is considered a “travesty” is because it is the holly language, which is no longer spoken…as pointed out that there is a “common tongue”…some people.

Ah yes…what a point you made here…” Modern American rap is 5 minutes of undecipherable crud”….firstly, ALL rap is crap, and secondly, how has this point helped your point…as has been pointed out later in the page, it is dependant on what language the rap is in…if you have heard rap in French…which I have….i can asure you….you would never say another bad thing about English rap!

Now here you managed to sum up your intelligence….” Modern English academic works are incomprehensible passages of gibberish and complex jargon”. If this is the case, then you must just be stupid…simple as that…I understand them, and I’m hardly a genius!

Ah, and to the next point “President Bush got elected despite the fact that he’d probbably fail a second grade reading examination [‘but me are learning’]” Now this one is a real cracker….you spelt probably with two b’s….what a prick! And then you go on to say “but me are learning”…well by this evidence, you haven’t!. (and just in case these words were spelt incorrectly deliberately, well, then you also need to learn to be consistent, as later in you post you pointed out that the mistakes were deliberate!)

“Truly English is a language loathed by all its speakers” wrong again fool…everyone so far on you forum thinks your wrong…so again, its just you….go on loner….fuck off!

“Anyone who attempts to write or speak grammatically correctly is some kind of stuck up showoff” well, again, your just wrong, and you know it! As I pointed out earlier, language is to put across a point, and it has to be correct to do so. If these grammatical rules were not needed, then they wouldn’t be there, fool!

Oh and what a quote you found…(I would say you made it up, but the point it tries to get across is not one the likes of you could ever comprehend). Well, here it is…” According to a modern report ‘shcool should focus on provyding texts to studnts that ar consistntly mispelt, as this wil allow them to see the nonlinerity of langage and the diversty of other cultures.'”. well, this is bolocks…people need to see correct use of their language to allow them to get it right themselves….then I wouldn’t have to even post things like this to people who don’t understand the language they use…poorly! Then you followed it up with “Yes, those were the origional spelling mistaikes, and they were inserted in the entire repot to illustrate the point”. To be honest, I’m not sure if you meant to miss spell original, mistakes, and report!

And now we come to you signature…well, this was a pure stroke of genius! “98% of teens have tried smoking pot and drinking. If you’re normal, copy this and put it in your Signature” well, if your normal, then you would find a better one, something more original instead of copying some crap written by a poorly educated American

QED

Feb
13
2005

sorry, crap day

this is a note to

you may have noticed the crap post all about sushi….well, I have been meaning to get rid of it since I read it in the morning..it was a whole load of crap…..this is what happens to me when im too tiered…I tell you, the keyboard can be a dangerous weapon in the hands of someone like me at the wrong time. anyway, I decided it wasn’t something I wanted on my LJ…(me sounding like a prick)..so its gone…..so is your comment….no offence meant. anyway, im going to leave this up until I know my apology has been accepted, then I will get rid of this, and post something less helpful, and perhaps a general rant…im brewing one about milk cartons….oh well, ttfn

craig

Feb
12
2005

3664

well, why not….


Are you Addicted to the Internet?

67%

Hardcore Junkie (61% – 80%)
While you do get a bit of sleep every night and sometimes leave the house, you spend as much time as you can online. You usually have a browser, chat clients, server consoles, and your email on auto check open at all times. Phone? What’s that? You plan your social events by contacting your friends online. Just be careful you don’t get a repetitive wrist injury…



The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!


Jan
18
2005

because i have to

This was taken from boggyb

Reply to this post and…

1. I will tell you what song reminds me of you.
2. I will tell you what celebrity/public/fictional person you remind me of, either in personality or physical features.
3. I will give you one word that I associate with you when I think of you.
4. I will tell you what colors I associate with you.

After you’re done, steal this for your journal.

p.s. i dont know anyone, so am not expecting any replies

Jan
06
2005

me

SECTION/QUESTION ANSWER
SECTION 1: ABOUT YOURSELF

1 Known as: Craig/Craig King
2 Lives in: A house
3 Birthday: 26/05/86
4 School: Arun House
5 Religion: Christian
6 Shoe size: depends if it’s a trainer or a boot
7 Hair colour: brown
8 Eye colour: This sort of mixed colour with brown, green, grey and blue
9 Style: I feel the need to elaborate on this later
10 Fears: Heights (depending), spiders, not enjoying life

SECTION 2: HAVE YOU EVER…

11 Cheated on someone? nope
12 Been Cheated on? nope, not really
13 Fallen off the bed? yep
14 Broken someone’s heart? again, sort of
15 Had your heart broken? yep
16 Had a dream come true? yep, skiing in the states
17 Done something you regret? cant remember an example, but thousands of times
18 Cheated on a test? contemplated doing it, but I don’t think I ever did, I’m far to honest that sort of thing

SECTION 3: CURRENTLY

19 Wearing? A black leather thong and leopard skin tights. See expanded answers
20 Listening to? The really annoying hum coming from the fan in my computer
21 Located? at my desk, in my room, in a house, in the south of England.
22 Chatting with? who thinks up these questions?!? I’m answering this, I’m male, remember…I can’t multitask!
23 Watching? the screen! See above
24 Should REALLY be doing? Sleeping or my Java assignment

SECTION 4: DO YOU

25 Brush your teeth? yep
26 Like anybody? yep, in both senses of the word, i.e, LIKE and like
27 Have any piercings? nope
28 Drive? yep, a 2 litre mazda 626 R-reg (more fun than it sounds)
29 Drink? if the moment allows it
30 Smoke? not a chance
31 Got a pager? nope, no-one in this country in their right mind has. We have phones!

SECTION 5: FRIENDS

32 Who is your best? Don’t have a “best”. Lots of people, but all for different reasons
33 Who do you hate? See latter sentence of above
34 Who is the cutest? I’m a bloke, its not a word I tend to use
35 Who laughs the most? The other Craig, aka “D”
36 Who have you known the longest? see above (I think)
37 Who have you known the shortest? probably some one I walked past in the street the other day?!? What sort of question is that. I shall explain myself later.
38 Who do you miss the most? See latter part of answer 32
39 Personal problems? This is way too open ended
40 Do you hang out with the opposite sex? Again, stupid question, u cant get away from them, they make up over half the worlds population
41 Do you trust your friends? Different degrees for each of them, but too some degree for all of them, or they wouldn’t be my friends!
42 Are you a good friend? hope so, but at times I doubt it
43 Can you keep a secret? *shouts* “OI, THIS PERSON WANTS TO KNOW IF I CAN KEEP A SECRET!”

SECTION 6: THE LAST PERSON YOU

44 Hugged? haven’t a clue
45 Kissed? haven’t a clue
46 IMed? Tom
47 Talked on the phone: Chris
48 Yelled at? not sure, probably one of my brothers
49 Fell in love with? now that would be telling

SECTION 7: PERSONAL

50 What do you want to be when you grow up? content
51 What has been the best day of your life? I don’t think I’ve had a best day, just moments, and there are too many to have a best
52 What comes first in your life? Birth?
53 Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? nope not at the moment. Long story
54 What are you most scared of? I think that this question is fairly similar to Q10, but in this case, I think its life. But more on that another time
55 What do you usually think about before you go to bed? how cool the ceiling looks
56 Love your family? yep
57 Love your friends? yep, depending on how you mean “love”

SECTION 8: FAVORITE

58 Movie: Movies are American, in England they are films! I quite like Notting Hill! Yes I know it’s a soppy love story and I’m a bloke, but hey!
59 Store: which ever one has what I want
60 Relative: don’t have that many, but probably my uncle
61 Sport: badminton
62 Ice Cream Flavor: chocolate
63 Fruit: raspberry
64 Candy: Candy is again more of an American thing, I quite like sweets such as polo’s
65 Holiday: is this MY favourite holiday, or favourite holiday like Christmas?
66 Day of the Week: the ones where I get a lie in

67 Time: evening
68 Color: purple, or blue, not sure
69 Name for a Girl: Natalie
70 Name for a Boy: don’t know about this one, none of them sound right in my head

SECTION 9: DO YOU

71 Like to give hugs? yep
72 Like to give kisses? yep
73 Like to walk in the rain? yep, almost as much as walking in the dark
74 Prefer black or blue pens? doesn’t matter, they never work when I need them to
75 Like to travel? yep
76 Sleep on your side, tummy or back? side or back normally
77 Ever have the falling dream? yep, although now for ages. I like that dream. Not sure why.
78 Have stuffed animals? Does this mean, have I stuffed animals, or do I own any? The answer is no either way.

SECTION 10: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT

79 Abortion: To summarise…..see a later point I think
80 Smoking: its your body, do what you like, as long as it doesn’t affect me
81 Eating Disorders: eating “disorders”….pointless
82 Suicide: I saw I very interesting program on that recently, I shall elaborate later
83 Summer: err..it’s a season? What kind of answer do you want?
84 Tattoos: see smoking (Q80)
85 Piercings: see tattoos (Q84)

SECTION 11 THIS OR THAT

86 Pierced nose or tongue? neither, but given the option, tongue
87 Single or taken? Am I single or taken, or would I like to be single or taken? You people need to be more specific
88 MTV or BET? I have no idea what this is asking. I will find out what it means and answer later
89 7th Heaven or Dawson’s Creek? no idea
90 Sugar or salt? sugar….who the hell would pick salt?
91 Silver or gold? silver. Looks better, costs less, doesn’t look like your showing off
92 Chocolate or flowers? Chocolate, but I’m a bloke, so no surprise there
93 Colour or Black-and-white photos? depends, black and white for people, colour for landscapes
94 M&M’s or Skittles? M&M’s..it’s my love of chocolate coming though again
95 Stay up late or sleep in? both, this isn’t a one or the other thing!
96 Hot or cold? water has to be hot, but air has to be cold
97 Sun or moon? moon
98 Left or Right? left, just to be different
99 10 Acquaintances or one best friend? one best friend….acquaintances are pathetic
100 Mustard or ketchup? ketchup
101 Spring or Fall? autumn! None of this damn Americanism
102 Happy or sad? stupid question, happy is much nicer
103 Wonder or amazement? as I wonder at something, I usually find myself amazed at the same time
104 McDonald’s or Burger King? McDonald’s if I had to choose, but in reality, none
105 Mexican or Italian food? Italian…without a shadow of a doubt
106 Lights on or off? off, what I cant see cant hurt me
107 Candy or soda? “soda” is an American word! But neither
108 Pepsi or Coke? Coke. Pepsi is just a tag along” brand” that doesn’t taste as nice

Right, in the table above I answered a whole load or questions. I have now made a list of all those questions that to add more to than the space of the tabled allowed. So I begin, as is customary, with the first one on my list, which is question 6

Q6 – Shoe size

Firstly, how does this question help anyone? As these are questions that are designed to be passed on to your friends, the only person this could be of any use to would be a friend intending to buy you some kind of footwear for a present. Nonetheless, I am size 11 for trainers and size 12 for boots.

Q9 – Style

I find this a rather stupid question. What the hell is style? (yet another rhetorical question) I what is meant by this is townie or grunge etc but in reality these are split in to infinitesimal numbers of variations and sub-divisions. I think that I shall, just to be irritating, describe my style as normal.

Q10 – Fears

I find my fears very odd. I am very scared of heights, but for some reason I love going abseiling and climbing etc yet when it comes to spiders, a far more irrational fear, I have no intention of doing anything whatsoever to provoke this fear. And to those who are saying “why are you afraid of spiders” or words to that effect, I feel the need to point out the true meaning of a phobia (as I consider myself to have arachnophobia). A phobia is “an unexplained fear”, so I can not answer the question “why am I afraid of spiders” as I simple don’t know.

Q19 – Wearing

This strikes me as, yet another rather stupid question. Firstly who cares what I am wearing and secondly how does that help them paint a better picture of me (metaphorically). I feel the need to keep returning to the fact of who these question were designed for. They were designed for people who know the person answering. So this answer cant possible tell them something they did not already know about the sort of thing that person usually wears and so I count it void. And for anyone interested, I am not and never will be wearing a black leather thong and leopard skin tights…sorry

Q25 – Brush your teeth

Ah yes, this is yet ANOTHER of those falling under the category, “stupid question”. I feel no need to enter into further detail as I’m sure you will understand.

Q26 – Like anybody

I believe this question as far as I can see is better catered for under question 53. Like is too ambiguous. I like all my friends, but not in the way I THINK this question means. I therefore feel the need to stress upon anyone making up these questions; write questions that are definitive and understandable from first viewing.

Q32 – Who is your best

Do people have best friends past the age of 10? I’m not sure that they do. I think once you get to about that age you know too many people to have a best friend. If you haven’t reached this stage by around 10 then when you get to secondary school any ideas of best friends instantly go out the window. Now here is a question; is it better to have lots of friends or a best friend and then your other friends who aren’t quite your best friend? This is rhetorical, so I’m not expecting an influx of e-mails. As we get older we seem to want to be more even handed to the people we know, not favouring one person over everyone else. I wonder if this is the roots to “being politically correct”?

Q37 – Who have you know the shortest

Yet another falls gracefully onto the pile. How many stupid questions can one person think up! Without defining known this is yet another failed question. How many times must you have spoken to, seen, glanced at etc before this person is “known to you”.

Q38 – Who do you miss the most

This is very much like question 32. I miss lots of people, but for different reasons. For some it’s the conversation, for others their smile, some it’s the jokes we shared. You cant really say who you miss the most unless you only miss one person.

Q39 – Personal problems.

Another for the pile of stupid questions. There are once again many way this could be interpreted. Is it asking “do you have any personal problems” or is it asking “what are your personal problems”. If the latter is the case then the answer as to why I should no answer this question is in the question. They are personal! That means most people don’t want to publicise them.

Q41 – Do you trust your friends.

When will it end, yet more stupid questions! What has the world come to! If I didn’t trust them then they wouldn’t be my friends. I’m shocked I had to even point that out.

Q43 – Can you keep a secret

Perhaps a better question would be; would you, or will you keep a secret? As to the best of my knowledge, everyone CAN keep a secret, but not everyone chooses to.

Q48 – Yelled at

Who the hell cares? Exactly. And if your one of those people who will say yes, just to be annoying and “different” (as I know I am), Don’t!

Q49 – Fell in love with

This I feel is asking just a bit too much of anyone. There are some things that should be kept personal. I agree in the world today it seems that everyone and anyone is quite happy to discuss their sexual habit and other bits of information that the general populous ready don’t want to know, all for a bit of TV and their 15 minuets of fame. But this should not be the case. This country is already a long way down the road in turning into America, but there’s no need to provoke it. People are going to have to learn that some things should just be kept personal, and that’s that.

Q51 – What has been the best day in your life.

This I feel is very much like the whole best friends thing. Most people don’t just have a best day, they maybe have a best time in their life, or several days that they enjoyed the most. Every day has good bits and bad bits. I bet anyone who says they have a best day cant still think of something that wasn’t quite right, or could have been better for that day. The first thing I think of when I wonder what my best moment of my life is, is when I went skiing in America. However, there are so many moments that I have enjoyed so much more. Time with friends, sun sets on a beach, a walk in the middle of the night, even just a conversation had in a couple of minuets. Those are the best bits, the bits that make you smile, not the ones you THINK are the best days.

Q52 – What comes first in your life

I feel, although I may well have pointed out the obvious, I assume this what not quite what the question meant. I assume it what comes first in your life in terms of friends, family, money. If you were to give your life a purpose, what would it be? Do people even have a main drive in there life? You could say you appreciate you friends over your family because you choose your friends, you’re stuck with your family. This is the attitude many take, but just stop and think, your family is stuck with you, and they are still there for you, whereas your friends choose you. I would say this is a tough call, friends of family, and I suppose it depends on the friends and the family, but in the end, both will do there best to be there for you when you need it.

Q53 – Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush

This is another unfair question, If you want whoever you send this to know, then you would have already told them, if you don’t want them to know, then this is just another awkward question you would rather avoid. As to the “long story” bit of my answer, just because I said it was a long story, doesn’t mean I want to broadcast it to the world.

Q54 – What are you most scared of

How could you not be scared of life…it can go just like that, yet it’s the reason for your friends, your family etc. You can be scared of losing it, not having a good one, not making the most of the one you have, taking advantage of others…the list could go on for a while.

Q73 – Like to walk in the rain

This along with walking in the dark are too things that I find can help me just get away from it all or give me the chance to think. Life is so busy all the time, I suppose its my chance to get away from it all and just let my mind of its lead for a run around for a while. The only thing I don’t enjoy is taking a walk at night when it’s raining. I find that just takes the fun out of it. I am what I quess would be classified as a “keen walker”. This just means I like to go for a walk in the country, just for a breather. If I go for a walk with a friend, I find I enjoy the conversation so much more and I can be far more honest. Maybe this is because there are not distractions, or maybe its just a bit of fresh air. Its nice to have some solitude not and then as well. I mean, I live in a country of around 58,000,000 people and hell does that feel like a lot when you go Christmas shopping. We just get used to all these people everywhere, we almost how nice it is for them not to be there. Just try it, stop living the fast life for a moment. Its only when you look at it from a different perspective, you see how much nicer it is when it slows down…just bit.

Q75 – Like to travel

Not everyone likes to travel, but surly everyone like to see new places, if only just to say, “yep, bin there, done that”. We are all naturally curious, so this is just our curiosity taking us a few steps on from peering over the neighbours fence.

Q79 – Abortion

I recognise that’s it’s human life, and you cant just terminate it as though it didn’t matter, but I also recognise that there are some cases where its could be considered to be cruel to make that baby live, when it will have nothing more than misery. There is no point in keeping a child alive that will have virtually no quality of life. If for example it is know that the child will die within a few months of being born and will be in pain up until it dies, then as hard as I would find it if I had to make the decision, the kindest thing you can do is save it the trouble of a wasted life. If however there is a chance that that child will be able to reach its potential, whatever that may be, then it must be taken as in this case, the end may well justify the means. I understand that there are an infinitesimal number of different situations that you could encounter, but all I ask is you think what is best for the child. This is a last option and should only be considered when EVERTHING else has been looked at, this is still life we’re talking about after all.

Dec
09
2004

life- an ongoing struggle

Is it me or does life like to give everything to you at once? You have to do most (or in some peoples cases all) of your leaning at the very start of your life, just the first 10 years or so. You may think this is rubbish, but start to think about the information and life skills you have. Like being able to tell if someone is forcing a smile, that you take for granted and you will begin to understand my point. When you find love, everything seems to happen at once, all those feelings pour out. The term “midlife crisis” describes a time when many people find that everything is just too much for them. Many people go from feeling fine and well to ill in hospital in a matter of weeks and even days sometimes. Perhaps this is life’s ways of kicking you up the arse every now and then. Maybe it is a little test, to “make or break you”. This is what the army does, push you and see if they can “break you”. Many will then say that you have proved yourself if they do not “break you”. In reality, I think they break everyone. Soldiers who have lived through wars, emerging at the end fine and apparently unscathed years down the line quite often end up with bad dreams, hearing voices, replaying moments over and over and over in their minds. It occurs to me that these people must just be covering up what they feel, pulling the wool over other’s eyes. But don’t we do this all the time? Even under oath in court, people try to pull the wool over others eyes, and that’s under oath! There is no oath to others in life…who knows how many people do it, just omit certain details, neglect minor facts, white lies…everyone’s done. If this is the case, how can we ever know what others are thinking? We can’t is the simple truth of it, we are just acting. I suppose this is a way of defining love, someone so special that you tell them everything, and they know you are telling them everything.

Dec
09
2004

24/7

There is phrase which seems to have been everywhere in the last few years. “24/7″…many people say that we are entering a 24/7 world. I hate to burst their bubble, but we are in one, and come to think of it, have been since time started (which is quite a while ago). I assume what they actually mean is that we are entering a world where everything is available all the time. Now this would all sound great if it wasn’t for the short but true fact that I do not often feel the urge to go buy petrol or a KitKat™ in the middle of the night. Come to think of it, I don’t think I have ever wanted to buy something in the middle of the night. I does however appear that petrol station owners have found the solution to this…don’t stay open for 24/7. It seems simple, and is guaranteed to cut costs, but it does ruin the adverts. So to combat this advertising dilemma, these companies have done what any respectable company does when advertising, they’ve put it in the small print. As far as they are concerned, there is nothing in the phrase 24/7 that implies 24 hours a day, 7 days a week…

Dec
09
2004

Band aid

I have just watched a program about band-aid 20. You know, 20 years ago there was an event called band-aid and it raised vast sums for the millions starving in Ethiopia, and now they are having a kind of “revival” with mainly new singers etc. Well, the program was great, the cause was well worth it, the idea was brilliant and their motivation was astounding, yet I still see “comedians” having a laugh at people in Africa. WHY? What’s the point? Do they deserve it. NO. It’s people in richer countries that have quite often caused their predicament, either by lack of action, lack of helpful action or by negative action. There was only one thing it that program that made me smile, and it was Bob Geldof complaining that after 20 years they still couldn’t get his name right on his badge.

Dec
08
2004

A load of food for thought

Humour. It’s an odd thing really. What makes some people find something funny, and other, not only do they not find it funny, they don’t even get it? How can you define humour. Is it just something that makes you laugh? What is laughing anyway, is it just you body telling you that you are beyond help? I always heard it was I sign of stress, so then why do we do it when we are not stressed as well. Perhaps we are stressed all the time and we just don’t notice it much? People tell me I think too much. In fact, actually, I think it’s only Craig Ackland, so really, its not “people tell me I think too much” it’s “a person tells me I think too much”. Maybe I do, that would explain the last couple of pages, but can you ever think too much? Isn’t the human race just naturally curious. This is why when there is a car accident or something like that, even when there is no disruption to the road, and it is clear, there is always a queue. It’s because people have slowed down to have look. We just seem to want to take a good look at other misfortune. Perhaps this is so that in the future, we may avoid such an incident. Maybe this has come from our early beginnings when we were just looking to go forth, multiply, and survive. But then we are back to the humour. Isn’t there the sick joke, or satanical humour? (Well, I know there is, it was a rhetorical question). If so, it can’t just be that we are looking to ensure we avoid such an incident, maybe it’s because we actually enjoy seeing others suffer. This might also explain the nation’s fascination with the soap opera. The chance to see your favourite characters every week fall in to some kind of mortal danger, you get to see hundreds upon hundreds of them kick the bucket in ever more fanciful ways. To quickly return to my earlier gripe with the spell checker, it now also doesn’t like the word “satanical”, I’m sure this is a word. I have just this second looked in my Collins dictionary (and no, they don’t sponsor me! (I wish!)) And according to that, it is a word. So I hereby launch my complaint to Microsoft that such an important word to the English language has not bee included in their dictionary.
This has just reminded me of a story that somewhat concerned me recently. The English Navy now has a Satanist aboard one of its submarines. This in itself is bad enough, but a judge has ruled allowing him to carry out satanic rituals whilst serving. This is in the same way that members of the Royal Navy are allowed to have time to pray etc. Now in all for equality, but what the hell (poor joke) is a Satanist doing aboard a British Navy submarine. Was the judge not aware of the problems this could lead too? “well, you said I could carry out my rituals, well, its part of my religion to sacrifice the odd person now and then, you know, just to keep Satan happy an all” What has the world come to?
As I way typing that last passage I became more and more frustrated with that good old corner stone of modern society, Microsoft Word™. When I typed the word “Satan” without a capital “s” at the start, It put that little red line under it indicating it was spelt wrong. However when I changed the “s” to a capital, then away went my friend the red line, indicating it was now spelt correctly. Now unless I’m very much mistaken, I haven’t changed the spelling (please do correct me if I’m wrong). If anything, the green line should have been used indication a problem with the grammar, but no, good old Microsoft common sense strikes again! This later happened with another word, “British”. Now you would have thought that I package like Word would be able to rectify this simple mistake for me, it’s not much to ask, to capitalise a letter is it. Well, it appears this is dependant upon the word. If you type the word Microsoft, then suddenly, before your very eyes, the capitalisation of the first letter, funny that!

Dec
02
2004

The mind

Isn’t it quite amazing what comes out of the brain when you let it slip in to neutral, when you allow it just that little bit of freedom it so yearns for. It continuously tries to make sense of a world this is so famously without logic or reason. I suppose it’s like a mathematician tying to devise an equation for love. It simply can’t be done, but that doesn’t stop them trying. The brain seems to look for a reason for everything. An apple fell on my head…hmm what is this that caused that, I know, it’s a magical force that we can’t see. Well now it’s obvious that it’s gravity, a force that is know, accepted and measured, but back in the day when an apple first crossed Newton’s path, this was an alien concept. What caused his brain to devise a later proven magical force? Why was it that apple that did it? Why not another? He must of seen so many things fall from the sky, the table, a tree, but what was it about his mind that made that one click on something. Why is it I’m so curious? I hate to leave you with unanswered questions but when I started typing I had no idea that I was going to end up on the subject of gravity, so perhaps it would be interesting to know what led my mind to it?

Dec
02
2004

The wonder of the spell checker

As I write (type) this, it occurs to me that the spell checker, which to my parents disgust I rely upon heavily, continues to complain at my use of the abbreviation “i’m”. This strikes me as very weird. As far as I can tell it is just two words, “i” and “am”, thus by saying, “I’m” I am in fact saying “I am”. For example, “I am disgusted with the way you constructed that sentence” and “I’m disgusted with the way you constructed that sentence”. Both as far as I can see mean the same thing, and both make sense (to me at least) but not to my dear friend the spell checker who continues to harris me greatly on the matter.

Nov
17
2004

1194

I feel i must for anyone who cares post the recent comments of a friend of mine after the recent re-election of that ******** know as BUSH

———————————-

We all know the score, Republican son wants to copy his father in every
way, cheats in an election and becomes President of the USA. But here’s the twist he then gets elected for a second term, pretty bad story right?
It amazes me how so many people can simultaneously mark themselves for extermination on my black list in one go, and what is more the electoral register knows where they all live :-).

Many people say that this is the way that democracy works, it is there to accept the people’s decision and run with it. Clearly they have never studied political history, one of the founding principles of liberal democracy was that the voter must vote responsibly, did they, let’s look at the comparison in candidates.

(Bush) One of the only two Presidents to have an IQ below 100.
(Kerry) Very successful lawyer.
(Bush) Has been a serious alcoholic.
(Kerry) Has been responsible his whole life.
(Bush) Has crashed: cars, boats and planes.
(Kerry) Has used vehicles in a variety of combat situations.
(Bush) Cant string two sentences together.
(Kerry) Author.
(Bush) Bought up a failing oil well and sold it on fraudulently.
(Kerry) Didn’t.
(Bush) Used his father’s position to give compulsory purchase orders on people’s homes in order to build a baseball stadium.
(Kerry) Didn’t do that either.
(Bush) Got involved in a multi-billion bank fraud claim, daddy got him out.
(Kerry) Nope didn’t do that either.
(Bush) Dodged the draft, then didn’t turn up for National Service.
(Kerry) Dropped out of school prior to the draft to vollunteer for combat.
(Bush) Bought some medals.
(Kerry) Won three purple hearts.
(Bush) Stayed out of politics until very recently.
(Kerry) Ran the anti-war campaign in the US after his war experiences.
(Bush) Supported by the Terminator (evil cyborg sent back to enslave mankind).
(Kerry) Supported by Presidents.

Now some partisan politics:
(Rep) Leaves 75% of the population without healthcare.
(Dem) Seeks to help those without healthcare.
(Rep) Let the economy slip, protectionism, extensive borrowing to fun tax cuts for only the richest americans.
(Dem) A policy of proportional taxation to help relieve burden on the system, while using sensible economics to bring the country back in line.
(Rep) Bang Bang solutions (oximoron).
(Dem) Negotiation.
(Rep) Guns are a right for everyone, they make the world safer don’t you know.
(Dem) Restrict guns which have no hunting purpose.
(Rep) We hate gays.
(Dem) Screw who you want.
(Rep) No abortion.
(Dem) It has to be the woman’s choice.

(Rep) No stem cell research.
(Dem) Whatever research is needed to improve the lives of the disabled.

You know you would have thought that hijacking plans would tell the Americans something about the world’s view…no. More killing, no negotation, that makes the whole world safer and more happy it is only logical that if I were to kill your brother who might be a terrorist that you will like me for it…right.

Apparently many Americans are excusing the Bush win by saying that we didn’t like Reagan either so there. Pardon? Are you trying to loose the discussion, Reagan couldn’t deal with more information than a single sheet of A4 in one go, hence the term Reagan Reports coming into play in the
white house. So he had more intelligence then Bush. But his massive expenditure on weapons programs can be seen to have won the cold war, because it was either that or WWIII in such a contest, the real irony is that the people who saved
the world from Reagan were communists like Gorbachev who saw the danger and decided to do something about it. There is a reason why he was known as Ray-Gun, the whole Star Wars program is his fault…guess what more missile defence has sparked the former communist powers to develop even more powerful missiles to deal with it…as if that wasn’t predictable. And in terms of Reagan’s idea of spreading liberal democracy, the forcable attempts to send it, contrary to the entire theory of liberal democracy, shows hipocrasy and has put many nations off democracy entirely.

Sod the UK’s special relationship with the US, if they can screw us over then they can go to hell, and they will. We need some power balance in the world, three possibilities exist: China develops even further and takes a role outside of asia, the USSR reforms due to Putin’s overt attempts to copy the system or the most sustainable one is a Federal Europe, we would be the one’s in power then, rather then hanging onto shoe-strings. But we cant do it by following the Americans, and by that I am not just refering to politically, our social collapse can be seen as the result of imported american liberalism we have to reject that and our incessant following of American culture otherwise we will remain reflections of their culture not our own.

I burn my little USA flag today, something I hope to do more of as time goes on. Four years ago I decided to give the Americans a final chance to show themselves as a developed nation, they messed up and my opinion of them is now deadset against their nature and properties.

Today has been a bad day for the US, the Democrats (the Republicans in the long-term), the UK and our special interest, my party, Page’s party, me, you the whole bloody world. Four years is a long time, people are already looking forward to 2008, this is the one occassion I am glad that Presidents are limited to two terms, but god knows if any of us will be around by then or if the world is the same. The world didn’t change on 9/11 the US simply
came to recognise the existance of it, don’t let their pain die, when it does they wont give a damn about any of us.

Sorry about ranting at people indiscriminately here but i am fucking angry, in general now, this was the result i expected but hope is necessary for people to not go insane. What was the famous line, “Damn you all to hell” they have destroyed themselves, but I remain sorry for them, for all of us, most importantly for me.

Jul
22
2004

Please remove your feet from under my chair

well, your asking for a definition my loss but not yet found friend….it is simple, i have no idea what it means because, quite simply, we didn’t get round to it. There I was, sitting with my feet underneath the other Craig’s chair, and alas we stumbled upon a name, albeit an odd and somewhat misguided name, but it is a Name nonetheless. And it is one that we shall be proud to bear under the great banner which is the World Wide Web. Now as I am at a loss as to what to say, I bid you farewell, and wish you bon voyage on the long road ahead (why not).

TTFN

Jun
02
2004

hello

well, ive just started a err live journal, and…well im kinda not very good at this, basically im hoping that people will put on ideas of funny stuff that i can put on my up and coming site…its going to be called “Please Remove Your Feet From Under My Chair” odd isnt it, but thats the idea, so any suggestion, can be about whatever you like, just keep em cuming